🇬🇧 Getting a cat used to life indoors

I just read a tweet asking what to do with a cat who lives partially outdoors to get used to a new life completely indoors. I have an experience with this and I’ll share it.

My Iduna was adopted when she was 8. She was living in a small house where she only entered to eat and sleep. She was free to go outdoors. I live in an apartment with nylon webs in all windows and the balcony to protect my cats. How do you call these protective webs in your country guys? I’m brazilian and I didn’t discover the name for these webs in english nor in italian. You can see the nylon web and Iduna on my Instagram.

Well, Iduna arrived in this new environment where she couldn’t go out for fun. And she spent a few days meowing in the balcony at night, very sad. But I gave her a lot of love and helped her to feel comfortable although she didn’t appreciate the two cats and a dog I had that time. In a few days she didn’t meow in the balcony anymore. Some time later she started to sleep in my lap while I was meditating. This was her favourite place. When she was in my lap any of her brothers could get close to us and she was extremely calm.

Although Iduna never became really friendly to her brothers I believe to have two cats or more is better as they’ll have another companion to have fun, not depending on the human staff to entertain them. As a plus, you can help to diminish the number of abandoned cats keeping them indoors and having as much as you can deal with and afford.

Cats have strong personalities but they adapt easily to a new life when they feel loved and cherished.

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Nycka, the Nomad 

🇬🇧 Thanksgiving

Yesterday was Thanksgiving day in some countries. In Brazil, where I still live, we don’t celebrate this day. Anyway it’s a good opportunity to stop and think in things to be grateful.

I have many abilities. My favourites are to write - that’s why my best statistics are here, on Twitter and Quora, not on Instagram - and to help people to become more beautiful and stylish in an individual way, through style consultancy and fashion design. I don’t see myself as a fashion blogger or beauty blogger because they share general tips and induce people to imitate them. This is not my way! I decided not to offer consultancy for businesses for a while, but I can change my mind if some interesting project appear. I’m not that bad doing this.

I have a dream. A big one. And last night I was sick because it seemed so distant and impossible because my standards are too high and sometimes a bit of pessimism makes me see only the fools who don’t value innovation and exclusivity. Then I slept to calm down and woke up thinking in Thanksgiving. Thinking in all my qualities and competences. Thinking my value always was on my strengths, not in what everybody is doing. Thinking that innovation moves the world and although people who appreciate what I do are not the majority, they exist. I woke up trusting a bit more that my dream is possible and somewhat I’ll find the support I need to make it as I want.

Nycka, the nomad

🇬🇧 Uniqueness

Each child is unique and, in theory, each adult should be unique too. But as many parents try to give limits to their children instead of teaching them how to fly and be authentic, many adults are like shadows, sad, grey, trying to be accepted by others and, for this, hiding qualities that they believe aren’t appropriate.

Caetano Veloso, a brazilian singer, wrote in his song “Gente” (which means people): “people is to shine not to die from hunger”. But the poet is not talking only about the lack of food. Culture nurtures us. To be recognised for being authentic nurtures us. So, spending all life trying to please others instead of discovering the beauty of who we really are is to die from hunger. Are you dying from hunger?

Some years ago I adopted a beautiful cat, like a british long hair, smoke coloured, and she was already 8 years old. Her previous tutor was moving to the apartment of someone from her family who didn’t like cats. I named the cat Iduna, like the goddess who had the apples that guarantee eternal youth to the gods. This cat only ate food with the taste of fish. One day, as the pet shop I went to didn’t have the fish option I bought food with the taste of salmon. Fish food here is usual for cheap food, not for super premium and in this pet shop there was only super premium food. I bought a pack with half salmon taste and half lamb taste. Salmon is a fish. But Iduna didn’t appreciate it. As I already had Thor (yes, I like to name my pets like mythical gods), he ate the salmon food without problems. Seeing Iduna wasn’t liking it, I tried the lamb food for her. And she loved it!

Two weeks ago I went to the pet shop to buy food for Thor. Iduna unfortunately died two years ago after to live with us for some years. I was buying super premium food with chicken taste for him. In that opportunity, as he is loosening a lot of hair, I tried salmon for long haired cats (he is short haired). He didn’t like it. I asked the brand if it was possible to change and they accepted. Then, I changed for the chicken that I knew he likes. Thor isn’t picky. I changed his food a lot of times and usually he eats anything. If he didn’t like that food I prefer to respect and offer one he likes. I already told you how the food in the house of my grandmother was horrible. I don’t try to force anyone, including my cat, to eat something that he doesn’t appreciate. We are unique. His way to ask respect was showing he didn’t like that food and he knows I respect him. Thor shines.

Each one of us is unique. And this uniqueness deserves to be treasured in every possible way. For myself I started treasuring it through clothes. And never abandoned this choice. You can do the same.

Nycka, the nomad

🇬🇧 Love and leadership

Since I was a kid I had fun working. I was too young to remember if I started forced by older people or through my personal initiative, but I prefer to believe it was the second, as along life, since that time, initiative is part of my attitude.

Every job I had I was pleased to do and when this pleasure disappeared I decided to change. The results are: I discovered the fashion industry in a deep level; I developed a lot of different talents, being able to perform many different activities; and I started a career in digital communications that is amazingly satisfactory.

I lived with my grandmother for many years. We had an employee who cooked and kept the house clean, something very common in brazilian wealthy families. And my grandmother used to complain every single day about the taste of the food to this employee. But I never saw her going to the kitchen to teach the maid how to cook. In fact the food was horrible, and this was one of the reasons I sometimes used to prepare desserts at home to have something tasty to eat. I’m very lucky and at the house of my other grandmother, where I went every weekend, in the farm, the food was marvellous. Simple, but delicious. 

Maybe I’m rationalising it, but anyway it was a long process that guided me to build confidence to do something unique. The very growth of luxury consumption in Brazil was an encouragement, although my profile is much more european. All the world is looking for something better. Even China, famous for counterfeit products, low quality and low salaries is gaining quality, although it didn’t extinguished the cheap and fake culture yet.

Maybe because I observed that grandmother with whom I lived I grew up with an attitude to learn how to do to be able to teach others to do. I’m aware the recruiting process is an important part of it, too. But in fact I wanted for a long while to have my own fashion brand and all the experience I acquired along my career is very useful to start this project. 

Being mine, it couldn’t be obvious, so, the blog will continue talking about many things and personal experiences and with doors open for brands linked to beauty, shoes, jewels and lifestyle committed to innovation and excellence to be part of this journey. And, in times of fake news, it keeps the mission to be the best fountain to drink information on my personal and professional activities. The ones I want to share, obviously. This blog is a kind of public diary where I share ideas, experiences and also information on my career. A place where I can share my stories almost as well as I can do through the clothes and accessories I create.

I care a lot about continuous improvement, and about to be faithful to my heart. I care a lot about offering my best in a way I receive the best too. Fashion enchants me because we can express the changes inside us through our personal style, through what we wear. We can be someone new and better every day choosing better clothing. Because the best we are, the more we know how to choose the clothes that express our personalities and we run away from buying cheap fast fashion goods. Exclusivity and innovation are the highest expressions of self-esteem. Are you ready?

Nycka, the nomad

🇬🇧 Diversity without tags

Currently we see a lot of people defending diversity. I defend it too, but I believe the way many people are doing this is wrong. My personal experience shows me there’s another path to defeat prejudice. And through my work I hope I can help my clients to understand this path. It’s something I prefer to express individually, as I can help the person to see the things through ones own experiences. What I can say in advance is that tags are not helpful. Why should we embrace tags to fight against tags used against us?

Regarding branding and positioning, not to embrace tags and flags against prejudices is not always to embrace the prejudice itself, I think. At least this is my positioning currently. I don’t defend one group as it were more fragile than others. I deal with individuals and I try to talk about many themes interesting to a variety of people. Excepting the first step of each services I offer, all the rest can be customised in so many details I think it’s impossible two people have exactly the same services nowadays when hiring me. This is one reason I chose to be self employed. I can consider each client as an individual, not a number on statistics as many brands do.

Anyone can understand this as one wants to.

A black person facing prejudice because of skin colour suffer the same a gay person suffer for his sexuality and the same a woman suffer for her gender. The myopic student and that who is the most intelligent have their struggles as anyone. Those we think are privileged sometimes face things we cannot imagine. When I was student I had great grades and wasn’t happy or privileged in many senses. Some of you maybe will hate this. 

To deal with prejudice creating niches is weird. It’s like to say my broken nail causes me more pain than your scratches. There are lots of features we cannot change. We are this way. But we are not these things. Our colour, gender, nationality, age or sexual orientation are not what we are. Our past experiences only can set the rules of our future if we allow them to do so, if we don’t change our mindset, if we just embrace common sense as being an absolute truth. This is something I never did along my life.

Yesterday I went to the supermarket and while I was buying bread the attendant asked me what I did for my hair be so colourful. I explained it, took my bread and she started to attend the next person in the row. I listened to her voice commenting with this person how bold someone should be to have a hair like mine. My hair is currently multicoloured, with shades of green and blue. Part of the blues are becoming lilac! considering the large majority of women in this city are blonde... you can easily imagine the impact I cause wherever I go. And yet, it’s positive impact. In Brazil attendants on supermarkets are simple people, with a few years of study, certainly not used to accept diversity easily. Including someone whose hair looks like a Van Gogh painting! And my hair is like that because I’m unique and I embrace my uniqueness through my appearance.

We can choose the tags we embrace with our hearts. Look around. Not all black people are alike. Even in Brazil where most of them came through migration for slavery before the year 1888, when slavery was prohibited, we find nowadays black people living in misery as well as black wealthy people. And lots of black people in between these two extremes. We find successful LGBT people and other ones struggling. We have Pablo Vittar by one side (a very famous singer), and transvestites being killed by another. This, as well as my experiences with prejudices and the analysis of my clients’ lives and the changes they performed through my advice help me to believe the problem is not on the tags anyone can apply to us. If you accept what makes successful people different from the rest in these niches is not “luck”, you’re welcome. If you understand “luck” is built through our choices you’re welcome too. If you want to succeed and overcome the pressure prejudice can make, you’re welcome. I only refuse help for those who are attached to the idea of being a poor victim and believing only others must change. I’m not an NGO, sorry.

Nycka, the nomad

Consultant on Personal Branding 360°, Personal Style and Branding 360°.

🇬🇧 Surmount and intensity

Some of us are born in families where to achieve our dreams was encouraged by parents and relatives. Other ones were born in families where to win was only possible following one determined path designed by our parents and anything different was considered a defeat, anytime we tried to live our own lives we were considered the black sheep or someone with serious defects.

I had a curious experience. My father wanted to see me as a medical doctor. He didn’t study a lot because my grandfather died when he was a boy and being the older boy it was his mission to manage the businesses of the family. The course to be a medical doctor was the most difficult to enter at the local university and my father knew I was able to enter. I had great grades at school. My mother and her family had a different attitude. My grandmother wanted to see me as a judge. Law was the second more difficult course to enter at the local university. I wanted not one nor another of these careers. My father accepted, respected and encouraged me in the path I chose: communication. My mother and her family were unable to do the same.

I lived with my grandmother, my mother’s mother, for many years although my mother is still alive. And although she had paid my studies, she never showed any sign of approval. My grades were considered my “obligation” for this part of the family. Curiously good grades weren’t expected from my brothers or cousins who had the same benefits that I had and mediocre grades. My cousin were never wrong and he was never criticised. But he never achieved something he really liked. He lived the life others planned to him. These become examples of how not to live for me. And I don’t care if this is your way to live since you respect my choice.

Along life I chose to learn and I developed some courage to make my dreams come true. I love to read and to watch movies since I was a child. Art and cultural richness are passions I cultivate since then, altogether with a curiosity about different places and realities.

I don’t embrace every opportunity I find but in general I go so deep in the ones I embrace that almost nobody can do them better than myself. As I had a family that is never satisfied with whatever I do, I’m accustomed to ignore criticism and keep doing what I believe. And up to this moment I conquered many dreams I believed were impossible when I was just twenty.

I see sometimes people desiring to discover an easy way to become rich, and I think although there are some people who become rich and even famous overnight, real richness is a result of winning a lot of battles along life. Real battles, not video games. Battles against ourselves much more than those against others. My father died respecting my choice. My mother maybe never admit she admires me as a professional and I no longer try to change her opinion. People like her won’t hire me nor consider me worthy. They’re too weak to accept the advice of someone like me. We just choose different paths. But I found great masters in this life and I continue finding, and they’re my masters just because they make me keep on my track, intensely doing a superior job at the same time they respect me and encourage me. This is my way to play as a consultant and as a mentor. I’m intense, my criticism is as strong as my praise. My work is for those who accept and believe they can be much better and much stronger when guided by a master who respect their goals and their personalities. Because I believe “praise only” can be as negative and toxic as “criticism only”.

Nycka, the nomad 

Consultant on Personal Branding 360°, Personal Style and Branding 360°.

🇧🇷 Soluções que partem da iniciativa privada

No Brasil muita gente acha que a solução para problemas variados deve vir do governo. Eu creio que estas soluções devem partir da iniciativa privada também. Nas últimas eleições presidenciais eu confrontei várias vezes um candidato que era diretor de uma grande empresa do varejo de roupas, porque ele prometia mil coisas e eu questionava se ele fazia aquilo para os funcionários de sua empresa. Os produtos da empresa são de qualidade extremamente baixa e uma vez fui convidada para participar de um processo seletivo da empresa, e o salário era indecentemente baixo para as responsabilidades e para o cargo em si, que eu já havia exercido em outra empresa muito menor com salário muito melhor. Confrontei porque as promessas aparentemente não condiziam com o que ele praticava na empresa. Ele acabou desistindo da candidatura.

Hoje olho para este país e vejo muita pressão ser colocada no governo ao passo que não se vê com frequência a iniciativa privada como uma opção de solução.

Imagine se cada empresa tivesse uma cota mensal que se dispusesse a investir na educação e qualificação técnica e humana de seus empregados. Isso é uma ferramenta ao alcance de qualquer empresa razoavelmente bem administrada. É preciso de criar meios para avaliar o retorno deste investimento, como avaliar a presença e as notas destas pessoas nos cursos, e avaliar o conhecimento prático adquirido.

Não é justo investir recursos em quem não quer estudar, por exemplo. Ter N vagas em escolas e universidades públicas e as pessoas estarem ali só para ter um diploma e não para aprender de fato. Existe algo de muito errado nessa cultura e mudar uma cultura não é tarefa do governo, mas das pessoas, e as empresas privadas de todos os portes têm influência para fazer isso.

Claro que as empresas medíocres que só visam lucro não têm interesse nisso. A população interessada em educação e cultura pode reagir não consumindo estas marcas. Pode reagir construindo marcas pessoais fortes o suficiente para escolher onde querem trabalhar. 

Até que ponto as pessoas estão realmente dispostas a buscar educação de qualidade? Até que ponto realmente buscam qualidade em suas vidas? Só posso sentir vergonha da parcela da população que só quer ganhar sem oferecer nada em troca. Sempre é tempo de mudar para melhor.

Nycka, the nomad 

Consultora de branding 360° e personal branding 360°

🇧🇷 O mundo é dos que não param nunca de estudar

No Brasil existe um ditado idiota que diz que o mundo é dos espertos. Muita gente, por causa desse ditado e da famosa lei de Gerson que segue o mesmo raciocínio, procura o caminho “mais fácil”. É uma estupidez e os motivos eu mencionei no texto anterior, mas vou reforçar neste.

A tecnologia está caminhando para uma realidade em que a mão de obra que é só física, mecânica, será substituída por máquinas e robôs. Quem não estudar não vai conseguir emprego porque vai ser mais barato ter e manter uma máquina para fazer aquele serviço.

Encorajar a estupidez é, em si, uma atitude estúpida. Sem emprego, o que esse povo ignorante vai fazer? 

Já passou da hora do Brasil e dos brasileiros mudarem de atitude. O Brasil não é um país capaz de competir com países desenvolvidos em muitos aspectos e é visto por estrangeiros como um lugar comparável aos países africanos em termos de desenvolvimento porque muitas pessoas só estudam o suficiente para passar de ano, não têm uma cultura de estudar para aprender. Não buscam o desenvolvimento contínuo. É uma vergonha. Uma vergonha causada porque as pessoas não observam a história, ou se apegam a ela para buscar culpados, nunca para libertar-se.

Hoje li que há quem defenda que a idade legal para começar a trabalhar seja reduzida para 14 anos como forma de evitar que os jovens se liguem ao universo do crime. Creio que o que deveríamos de verdade encorajar é que esses jovens estudem para que tenham uma condição financeira que seus pais não tiveram, possivelmente porque não estudaram. Devemos pensar no futuro analisando o macroambiente e pensando em soluções para macroambientes diversos, para realidades variadas.

Seja aquela pessoa que estuda durante toda a vida e trabalha para ser um ser humano melhor, para vencer seus limites, para conquistar o que sua família nunca usufruiu. Eu tenho feito isso e às vezes a gente desanima, muitas vezes somos criticados por sermos ambiciosos de uma forma positiva, acreditando em nossa capacidade de ter o sucesso que almejamos, o conforto que almejamos, e no caminho aprender a compartilhar o que aprendemos com outras pessoas.

Ser o cara que só estuda para passar pode te levar mais longe do que imaginou, mas ser o cara que estuda para aprender e busca aprender com tudo a cada momento, desde um conto infantil a uma experiência de vida frustrante, traz recompensas muito maiores. Construa sua marca pessoal como alguém que busca sempre resultados excelentes.

Nycka, the nomad 

Consultora de personal branding (marcas pessoais) 360°

🇧🇷 Economia, cultura empresarial e padrões de consumo

Economia é um mecanismo complexo. Cada pessoa e cada empresa é importante para o funcionamento adequado deste mecanismo. Se a qualidade de cada peça (pessoa ou empresa) é baixa gera crise. Quanto mais cada peça investe em si mesma, melhor é.

No Brasil muitos cresceram ouvindo falar de crise e a temem. E nisso fazem exatamente o contrário do que devem fazer para sair dela. A vergonhosa Lei de Gerson também é uma barreira cultural que atrapalha os brasileiros de terem uma atitude que colabore com seu desenvolvimento profissional e com o desenvolvimento econômico do país.

Vamos imaginar um cenário que já existe, mas ainda pode crescer muito no mercado mundial e muito mais no mercado brasileiro. Imagine uma empresa que desenvolva uma marca forte para si mesma, e para seus produtos e serviços se houver motivo para ter várias marcas de uma mesma empresa, como algumas grandes fazem. Esta empresa contrata apenas profissionais alinhados a seu perfil, bem adaptados à cultura praticada naquele ambiente. Esta empresa paga salários acima da média porque busca profissionais acima da média. Como os salários atraem muitos profissionais interessados só nisso, ela decide filtrar os melhores candidatos através de métodos pouco usuais ou até, podemos dizer, não ortodoxos. A lucratividade é alta. O poder econômico de seus empregados, também. Como os empregados já têm a idéia de só se contentar com o melhor como prática corriqueira, onde eles usam este poder de compra? Comprando excelentes carros, roupas, serviços, hospedando-se em ótimos hotéis ao viajar, comendo em excelentes restaurantes. 

A cultura da excelência, do “nada é tão bom que não possa ser ainda melhor” é algo que quando a gente pega gosto não tem mais volta! E esta cultura faz parte de muitas vidas, embora muitas vezes nos vejamos em meio a um mar de mediocridade e muitas marcas baratas expandindo. Vemos isso porque existe muita gente que não vê o próprio valor por aí, gente que não cultiva o senso crítico e se contenta com pouco. Aquela gente que só estuda o suficiente pra passar. A cultura da excelência começa com o hábito de estudar para aprender. Essa gente deixa seu medo e sua avareza tomarem conta, e só pensam em preço, não conseguem pensar em custo x benefício. Então compram sempre o mais barato, sem fazer as contas dos prejuízos que toma com isso a médio e longo prazo apesar dos ganhos imediatos. Nós não podemos deixar essa mentalidade doentia tomar conta do nosso mundo.

Quando alguém investe em iniciar um negócio oferecendo algo único é o primeiro passo para tornar-se uma peça de boa qualidade no mecanismo econômico. Quando alguém trabalha, seja como empreendedor ou empregado, fazendo o que ama e entregando algo além de horas trabalhadas e de fazer apenas a obrigação, indo além do senso comum, está indo na direção de tornar-se uma peça boa neste mecanismo. E cada passo que cada pessoa e cada empresa dá nesta direção diminui o espaço para crises econômicas. 

Se você quer sua empresa andando em direção à prosperidade, à entrega de valor e contribuindo para o crescimento econômico (que só existe se as empresas agem para isso acontecer), não importa se você está planejando seu negócio ou se ele está ativo, nem o porte da empresa ou sua localização, agende uma consultoria de branding 360° comigo para que eu possa orientar você para corrigir os problemas que podem levar ou estão levando seu negócio na direção errada.

Se você é um profissional que quer direcionar sua carreira para uma carreira próspera, sendo valorizado pelo que faz e eliminando a crise da sua vida, agende uma consultoria de personal branding 360° comigo para eu poder te ajudar a identificar onde você está errando e como corrigir essas falhas e seguir o caminho certo.

E compartilhe este texto para que outras pessoas também tenham a oportunidade de seguir o caminho certo.

Nycka, the nomad 

🇬🇧 The importance to push the standards up

Economy is a complex mechanism. Each person and each business is important to this mechanism to work well. If the quality of the engines is low, it causes crisis. The more each “engine” invests in itself the better it is.

Let’s imagine a scenario that already exists, but it’s not the dominant one yet.

Imagine a company that develops a strong brand identity for itself and even for their products and services when it’s interesting to create multiple brands. This company hires only professionals aligned to its profile, well adapted to the culture practiced in that environment. This company pays salaries above the average. As the salaries attract many professionals, they can filter the best candidates through unorthodox methodologies, to find the ones who are fitted to its brand identity. The profits are high. The economic power of their employees, too. As the employees are aligned to the mindset of choosing the best, they use this power to buy the best in the market, and they have outstanding cars, clothing, they eat in excellent restaurants and stay in hotels able to customise the services.

The culture to spend with the best is present in a lot of minds, although sometimes we see too much cheap brands expanding. We see this because there’s a lot of low quality engines over there. People who spend the minimum for fear or avarice. Low quality engines that live as low quality, buying low quality and pushing standards down because they think in price not in cost x benefit.

When someone invest to start a business offering something unique it’s the first step to move in the direction of that profile of good engines. When someone works, as an employee or as an entrepreneur, doing what this person really loves and delivering something more than hours worked, more than common sense, this is a step to become a good engine. And each step each person and each business gives in this direction diminish the space for crisis.

If you want a business walking in this direction of prosperity, no matter if you’re planning to open this business or if it’s already in the market, schedule a consultancy with me, so I can help you to fix the problems that are driving your business into the wrong direction.

If you want to continue your career in this direction of prosperity, schedule a consultancy with me, so I can help you to notice where you’re failing and we’ll fix these problems step by step.

And share this post with the people you know so more people will have the opportunity to follow the right path.

As a nomad I’m prepared to help professionals and entrepreneurs from any country since the person is fluent in english, portuguese or italian, and there’s a lot we can do with online meetings.

Nycka, the nomad 

🇬🇧 We are what we are

Twenty one years ago I entered this world. In the beginning it was dial up connection to enter, as quick as a lame turtle. The quality of the pictures that time was low, and I think a selfie like today we transfer in an instant would require several minutes or hours to be downloaded that time. 

I was talking with some acquaintances yesterday about this. And one of them told us once he met a girl who told him she was like a younger Patricia Pilar (a famous and beautiful brazilian actress). He had no pictures of the girl and his expectations were too high, and he was sad to observe she really looked like the actress except for one detail: her nose was rough and big.

Then I told him if I were to compare myself with some celebrity everybody knows it would be Angelina Jolie, but with brown eyes and smaller breast. The big eyes, mouth and delicate nose are similar. He told I really look like her. This is easy when you see the picture first. But then I saw a picture of Angelina in the movie “Playing by Heart” and she really was very similar to myself.

Twenty one years ago my self esteem was a newborn but that was really the image I had from myself if I were to compare myself with someone else. Currently I’m satisfied with my own beauty, I appreciate my appearance. It’s not perfect, I can improve some details, but when I look to myself I see a woman who has a beautiful body, a beautiful face and a beautiful mind. A woman who didn’t eat vegetables when she was a child, and now offer to herself beautiful and tasty food, because this beautiful body deserve to be honoured.

I never wanted to look like someone else. I’m proud of the woman I became. Not proud enough to feel comfortable now, as if nothing could be better. There are many rich experiences I still can offer to myself. And step by step I’ll live all the ones I want. We are what we are but we can choose to be each day better than the previous one, to become the best professionals in our fields and to live coherently.

Nycka, the nomad 

🇬🇧 From shyness to comfortable freedom

Since I was 9 I was too shy even to answer the roll call at school. I had a problem with a ridiculous teacher and some negligence from my mother the previous year, then my family put me in a new school, and I showed strong signs of trauma. Two years later I was in another school, where I studied until I finish high school. The two first years in this school I barely left the classroom. I controlled some signs of trauma I had in the previous school, but the first year the man who came to close all doors during the interval told me everyday to leave, sometimes telling me that if some objects of my colleagues disappeared the fault would be mine. I always answered nothing would disappear. In fact, nothing disappeared. The second year I left and sit in front of the classroom. And started making friends, I don’t remember how.

I decided I wanted to study advertising when I was 16 as my family put me in a course for models and I discovered my talent to write advertising content. But I worked for my family and they didn’t allow me to live in another city to study. Since I noticed I had a talent more than simply talent to have good grades at school - which is not useful in professional life - I became a bit more confident.

In Brazil we have a test called vestibular to enter the university. I tried it twice at the university in my town, trying the course that had more candidates, so, it was the harder to be approved: medicine. I had no will to become a medical doctor. It was my way to sign I didn’t want to study there. I didn’t study, so... I wasn’t approved.

Next year I tried business administration, much easier to enter, much closer to my goal to have my own communication agency. I was approved effortlessly. And I decided to give a step ahead to cure my traumas, starting to answer the roll call. I was able to do this in a low voice. If my colleagues were quiet, the teacher could hear me.

Once I was invited to make a speech for a group of people and as it was for a small group, I accepted. But it was a hot day and the fans used to refresh the room were noisy. It was the first time in my life I had to use a microphone. I trembled and it hadn’t a support. A gentle guy noticed that and stood by my side holding the microphone, so, I calmed my mind again. And so... I was myself again, no trauma to carryover.

Along life I evolved a lot, being able to achieve goals that were impossible for the adolescent I was. And every time I see someone saying how hard their lives are I observe my life and see hard is different from impossible. Many times good things happened quickly, in other situations I had to be patient, but what was important for me happened, naturally. Am I lucky? If luck is built through choices and actions, as I think it is, yes I am. If this is the kind of luck you believe you’re welcome to this world.

Nycka, the nomad

🇬🇧 About references

I was listening to Nightwish’s song “The phantom of the opera” tonight and I was reminded of why I moved from the city I was born: to enrich my cultural level. To live experiences that city couldn’t offer me.

Nightwish was among the first bands I discovered in this wonderful world called internet. It was through a “place” called Napster, that time, many years ago.

In the city I was born my musical universe was limited to pop rock, axé, forró, pagode, sertanejo (brazilian country music), and the soundtrack of brazilian soap operas. I also discovered Iron Maiden, Metallica and Helloween (metal bands) and Soul Asylum still living there, but it wasn’t through mass media. Only my cousin knew these bands and nobody else in my network. 

That same epoch that I discovered Nightwish (1999/2000) I used to enter chats to talk to other people. Usually I asked about what kind of music they used to listen to. It’s curious that all people who told me they were “eclectic” had a musical universe as limited as mine was in the city I was born. They had a very poor musical universe and talked as if it was enormous. They were ignorant about their own ignorance.

I have a few friends who chose to live in a very limited universe. I prefer to develop friendships and other relationships - professional ones more than all - with people who choose continuous improvement, to expand their inner universe the more they can. People like myself, who are never ashamed to ask for help, nor to ask questions or to express their opinions. I made this choice because most of the accommodated people usually feel offended by any comments outside their universe. And I have zero patience with mediocre people who chose mediocrity, the “easiest” path, and feel offended by anything someone with a wider and deeper inner universe mentions.

I prefer to admire beauty people who appreciate their own beauty, develop a unique style (with my professional advice), loves to travel, cultivate critical sense and learn something from each experience. Even listening to a song like “The Phantom of the Opera”. Maybe I prefer Nightwish to many popular artists because their lyrics are meaningful. Many artists are too shallow. Musical choices have a meaning.
To ask for qualified help is not a sign of stupidity. Not to know about something is not a shame if you want to learn about that and values really the resources to find the knowledge you want. To embrace ignorance or try to follow the “easier” or “cheaper” path is a shame. To embrace ignorance and feel oppressed is a shame. Each richness have a price. Are you ready to pay the price to get what you want?

Nycka, the nomad 

🇬🇧 The value of the truth

Not everyone are ready to listen to the truth, to the true opinion of other people. These individuals usually don’t speak their truth for habit or fear of being rejected. Along life I learned to be true to myself, at the same time I respect others, but respect is different from act as if I agreed with their attitudes. It’s more something like it happens in the book “The little Prince”, where the boy travel from one world to the other and when people are not open to pay attention to his individuality, he departs. In the story he only found one world where the person he met was in a big world, possibly a metaphor to an open mind. 

Some people believe it’s rude to say a gift have some feature we don’t appreciate or any other thing that maybe will hurt the feelings of someone. I believe any person committed to self-improvement will receive well any kind of sincere feedback. Of course some people will suffer - those who consider themselves the victims of a world where nothing goes right for them. But to lie is worse, I think. For example, imagine you were invited to visit someone. There, the person offers you a piece of cake. You eat, but you don’t appreciate. Your face will express what you felt. But even if the person doesn’t notice the message in your face, I believe it can be useful to say that for your taste that cake wasn’t really good. There is the right way to tell this diminishing the risk to hurt the feelings of that person, although the risk will always exist if her self-esteem is too low. Why do I believe it’s good to tell my opinion? Because it avoids the other person to offer me a second time something I didn’t appreciate at first. It creates limits in a way the other people must respect them. Without these limits clearly communicated it’s hard to deal with other people. It’s too easy to hurt and to be hurt without this. At least this is my experience.
Is a company that doesn’t listen to its employees able to listen to its customers? Is a company like that able to be innovative? I don’t think so, because this company didn’t build a culture for innovation nor a brand guided to put this in practice in every detail.

Nycka, the nomad

🇬🇧 Hairvolution

My hair is naturally black, heavy and straight. During my adolescence it was a kind of curtain that helped me to hide my face. My family used to say I was ugly and as I saw nothing wrong with my body, the insecurities went all to my face. I imagined it was my face the ugly part of me.

Once I was watching the news on TV and the journalist, Fatima Bernardes, had a short haircut I considered very charming. I said I’d love to have a haircut like that. My aunt, who was sat close to me, told me the only beautiful thing about me was my hair, and completed “if you cut your hair, what will remain?”.

My hair was always the same thing. I couldn’t style it because it was as if it had a life not commanded by my will. Once, a friend of my mother invited us to her wedding. I spent all the afternoon with the hairstylist to style my long hair to the celebration. He used lots of powerful products to make my hair curly for the wedding. I left the place only to dress myself and go to the church. It was a catholic wedding. In the end of the ceremony, before the party, my hair was straight again!!! And with tons of hair gel in it!!! Do you remember Harry Potter, who had his hair cut to wake up next morning with the same old haircut? Mine was quicker to return to the old style. 

Some years later I had my hair cut close to the shoulders (circa 15cm less than the normal length). It was horrible. The volume became enormous! I think volume is charming for curly hair. For straight one, mine was good as it was in the normal length. Then I left it grow. The hairstylist who cut was tenant of my grandmother. I imagine she asked him to do the worst thing he could. Even when I cut my hair alone by the first time and without technical knowledge or proper scissors, eleven years ago, it wasn’t so horrible.

I must say my hair never covered my breast. I kept it long but longer than this it was terrible to detangle it.

One day I saw a girl with a beautiful red hair walking downtown in Uberlândia. For some things I’m shy, but never to go after a goal. I wanted that colour. Then I approached her, told her that colour was amazing and asked her how I could find it. She answered and as it was a product found in any drugstore or supermarket I entered one close to where we was and bought it. Of course the result was a dark red, but it was beautiful and I felt happy.

Some years later I tried short hair by the first time. It wasn’t bad. So I kept it and continued changing the haircut since then. It’s curious that my last long haircut was inspired in a cover of Vogue Magazine and the hairstylist made it perfectly. Probably this was the reason I trusted him to try what I really wanted.

In Porto Alegre and Curitiba I found hairstylists with the help of a Orkut community, but although my hairstylist in Curitiba was the best I had, I decided to try to cut my hair by myself. Hair in my nape bother me a lot. First trials I used the same scissors I use to make clothes. The finishing was rough. But I liked that and adopted as a style. Later I bought a machine and scissors to cut it shorter, keeping the asymmetries. This time I was already using natural shades of red hair, bleaching the hair and soon I started to use semi permanent colours, starting with violet and green.

I wanted to create a violet hair with green dots, but I didn’t have such a patience.

Since then I tried many things regarding semi permanent colours. With them I use my hair as a painter use the screen, not as a paint frame. I’ve seen many ideas like this since then, as I manage a page about short hair at Facebook. Some are beautiful, some are vulgar. It’s nice to have options and to choose some elegant ways to be outstanding. And I think to use myself to try new possibilities is inspiring for my readers and followers, because I’m a style consultant who encourages elegant authenticity.

Nycka, the nomad