🇬🇧 From shyness to comfortable freedom

Since I was 9 I was too shy even to answer the roll call at school. I had a problem with a ridiculous teacher and some negligence from my mother the previous year, then my family put me in a new school, and I showed strong signs of trauma. Two years later I was in another school, where I studied until I finish high school. The two first years in this school I barely left the classroom. I controlled some signs of trauma I had in the previous school, but the first year the man who came to close all doors during the interval told me everyday to leave, sometimes telling me that if some objects of my colleagues disappeared the fault would be mine. I always answered nothing would disappear. In fact, nothing disappeared. The second year I left and sit in front of the classroom. And started making friends, I don’t remember how.

I decided I wanted to study advertising when I was 16 as my family put me in a course for models and I discovered my talent to write advertising content. But I worked for my family and they didn’t allow me to live in another city to study. Since I noticed I had a talent more than simply talent to have good grades at school - which is not useful in professional life - I became a bit more confident.

In Brazil we have a test called vestibular to enter the university. I tried it twice at the university in my town, trying the course that had more candidates, so, it was the harder to be approved: medicine. I had no will to become a medical doctor. It was my way to sign I didn’t want to study there. I didn’t study, so... I wasn’t approved.

Next year I tried business administration, much easier to enter, much closer to my goal to have my own communication agency. I was approved effortlessly. And I decided to give a step ahead to cure my traumas, starting to answer the roll call. I was able to do this in a low voice. If my colleagues were quiet, the teacher could hear me.

Once I was invited to make a speech for a group of people and as it was for a small group, I accepted. But it was a hot day and the fans used to refresh the room were noisy. It was the first time in my life I had to use a microphone. I trembled and it hadn’t a support. A gentle guy noticed that and stood by my side holding the microphone, so, I calmed my mind again. And so... I was myself again, no trauma to carryover.

Along life I evolved a lot, being able to achieve goals that were impossible for the adolescent I was. And every time I see someone saying how hard their lives are I observe my life and see hard is different from impossible. Many times good things happened quickly, in other situations I had to be patient, but what was important for me happened, naturally. Am I lucky? If luck is built through choices and actions, as I think it is, yes I am. If this is the kind of luck you believe you’re welcome to this world.

Nycka, the nomad