🇬🇧 About friendships

This is a text about friendships.

I'm Nycka Nunes, digital and cultural nomad, and I work as a visual artist, fine art photographer and stylist. In recent years I have experienced an intense healing process from emotional traumas. I believe that personal style is intertwined with lifestyle and personal development, so in this blog I share personal reflections and a little about my lifestyle.

• Not everyone will like you the way you are. Friends value and respect us for exactly who we are and support our growth without hurting or forcing us. It's not about pretending we're perfect and don't need to improve, but about respecting our time and, when we decide to improve, they're there cheering for our victory and supporting as much as possible. And when we fall, we can count on our friends' shoulders to cry on, and their support to pick us up and move on.
• Whoever wants good friends must be a good friend. And knowing when to cut relationships if there is no reciprocity. Friendship is a two-way street.
• Friendship requires emotional connection. It's not about who likes to go to parties with you, or listen to the same kind of music you like, or spend a lot of time together. If there is no emotional connection, it is not friendship, they are acquaintances with common interests.
• Friends don't have to solve our problems. But if they disappear or turn their backs on us when we are going through difficulties, they are not true friends. Showing up after the storm has passed saying they were rooting for us is not support. Any support that comes along with some form of disrespect is also an attitude that excludes the person from the friend classification.

I believe these points also apply to romantic relationships.

Share your opinion and experiences in the comments.

Nycka

🇬🇧 My relationship with my body

This is a text about my relationship with my body.

I'm Nycka Nunes, digital and cultural nomad and I work as a visual artist, fine art photographer and stylist. As a stylist, I believe that personal style is linked to self-knowledge, personality and lifestyle, and therefore it is impossible to label a personal style. Also, if someone imitates someone else's appearance it goes against the grain of developing a strong personal style.

I've always been skinny. To the point that, at a certain point, I took medicine to whet my appetite. At that time I ate little because the food at my maternal grandmother's house, where I lived, was ugly and bad. Fortunately, at the other grandmother's house, the food was always very tasty.

Nowadays I try to eat well, without exaggerating, and I've learned to understand many of my body's needs.

I am 1.75 m tall. And since I was a teenager I have wide hips, and small breasts. And my body type today is hourglass, because the measurement for body type is shoulders, not breasts. I was never bothered by my breasts or hips. In my early teens it was difficult to find a bikini to buy because most stores in my hometown only sold the two pieces in the same size and I wore a small top and medium panties. Fortunately, there was a shop that made bespoke bikinis. And in adult life the difference ceased to exist.

Because I was bullied by members of my maternal family, having zero privacy, and other intolerable attitudes, I spent my teens thinking I was ugly. When a school friend said that some boy wanted to meet me, I always thought it could only be a joke. I only went to date after leaving my hometown. Before, I didn't think my body was ugly, and I didn't feel pretty either. I understand now that it was mostly because my clothes weren't clothes I liked and I also hated my long hair. The appearance imposed by my family did not represent who I was.

In adult life I continued to be skinny most of the time. Until 2012 my weight was always around 58 kilos. By wearing clothes that reflected my personality and experiencing positive reinforcement around my appearance, I gained self-confidence.

From 2012 until the pandemic, my weight fluctuated a lot - for more and for less - while I struggled against the effects of an extremely traumatic situation I experienced, which was the first step for me to cut ties with my maternal family and with all the people who tried to force me to talk to those people.

During the pandemic, because I stayed at home and greatly reduced my level of physical activity, I gained more than twenty kilos in the first year of the pandemic. Then I lost almost all of the extra weight. This week I'm 64 kilos. My body is more “feminine” than when I weighed 58kg. At 58kg I could easily have an androgynous image. At 64kg my breasts are bigger. Not much, but enough that I couldn't be mistaken for a man. I am happy with my current body. And I like the androgynous body of before.

For a long time I didn't like my droopy eyes. In recent years I have made peace with them. My very thin and long fingers were also a source of discomfort. When I was a teenager, I kept my nails long, because I like red nail polish or dark colours, and my nails, when short, almost disappear due to the proportion with the length of the fingers. I also made peace with that. The non-acceptance of these body parts was an effect of the bullying suffered. When the voice of my abusive relatives died in my head, I came to see myself as beautiful in every detail.

The death of that negative voice was a long process that caused me a lot of pain. In the last stage, it destroyed my physical health, and caused impacts on my appearance, such as weight changes. Right now, the only thing I need to change is my teeth, because it's the only part of my body that reflects the impact of this internal struggle I've overcome.

How are limiting beliefs, inherited from others who don't take care of their own mental health, or self-imposed, affecting you and distancing you from taking better care of yourself? Follow my social media profiles for more content that can inspire you to rebuild yourself and exalt your authenticity.

Nycka Nunes

🇬🇧 Those who had traumatic experiences in childhood do not usually have hobbies

Psychologists say that those who had traumatic experiences in childhood do not usually have hobbies. This text is about my childhood and how I dealt with the limitations that were imposed on me.

I'm Nycka Nunes, digital and cultural nomad, and I work as a visual artist, fine art photographer and stylist, in addition to creating content on this blog and on social media. I graduated in advertising.

I started working at 5 years old. I lived with my maternal grandmother for most of my childhood and adolescence.

When I was very young I studied ballet, piano and flute. I lived opposite the music conservatory in my hometown at the time. I've been passionate about piano ever since, but even though they enrolled me in the course, my family never encouraged me and I didn't have a piano to practice with. And I was frustrated with the lack of evolution between one class and another. The other courses I don't even remember wanting. I still reject the flute. I now know that narcissists - and emotionally immature people - tend to do things to impress others. Maybe that's why they enrolled me in these courses and others. To impress others, keep up with the Joneses.

I also liked to draw and I wanted to learn to paint, and I wasn't given any encouragement to do so. To the point where I got to draw only in therapy sessions, in childhood. I only went back to drawing in the first year of college for advertising. And, surprisingly to me, I was drawing well.

Notice that what was important to me, what brought me satisfaction and joy, was not encouraged. In some cases it was even prohibited. And that went beyond art. I remember once asking for a Barbie as a gift and my mother saying that I was no longer a child to play with dolls. I was a child. I started playing with boys, with He-Man and Thundercats dolls. I started playing football. And I continued to allow myself to be a child, even though I had to work and was treated like an adult by my mother and her family.

In the store, they put me in charge of organising the products in stock, hidden from customers. I thought it was boring, I did what had to be done quickly and went to the counter to try to serve customers. Several did not accept my help. I was small, and just as capable of serving them as the adult saleswomen. I knew the names and prices of everything, I knew where each product was, and I even knew better than the others what was in stock because most of the time I was in stock.

In childhood, I found in literature an escape from the annoyance and disrespect I experienced in living with my maternal family.

Unfortunately, for a large part of Brazilian society in inland cities, family is something above good and evil. Even as an adult, when I voiced criticism of abuse committed by family members, several people criticised me. I also got a lot of support when I talked about these bad experiences on social media.

The memories I have of living with my father's family are all good. After my parents' divorce, I started to see my father a lot less, but when he was there he was 100% there, always supporting me, praising me. My paternal grandmother used to talk to me a lot. My uncles also treated me very well, and respected my weird behaviour, for example, being isolated at Christmas parties when there were people I didn't know.

This positive interaction with my paternal family and the literature that took me to different realities than the one I lived with my maternal grandmother were essential for me to deal with the authoritarianism of my maternal grandmother and the cruelty of my mother and my aunts, who always they humiliated me, treated me badly, repeated countless times that I was ugly, stupid, useless, and no matter how good my grades at school or my behaviour were, nothing was good enough.

My self-esteem was low and remained so until I was in my thirties, because I placed too much importance on being loved by my mother's family. Today, if someone doesn't like me, I move on with my life, I've achieved great emotional autonomy. Anyone who doesn't value my qualities doesn't deserve my affection.

As I traveled to my father's farm on the weekends, and there I was always treated well, I really like to travel. I also like to practice individual physical activities (cycling, walking the dog, etc). And to watch football matches, but I usually only watch Palmeiras matches. Sometimes I watch games of some European teams too.

I look for joy and satisfaction in everything I do, and I've learned to be intolerant of certain attitudes. Because satisfaction was something forbidden to me in almost all of my childhood and adolescence. And I don't want to be satisfied only on weekends. That's why I don't limit my satisfaction to hobbies. I do not accept that only they bring me joy and relaxation.

And you, how do you deal with the bad experiences you had in childhood?

Nycka Nunes

🇬🇧 Can looks be deceiving?

Have you ever heard that looks can be deceiving? Could they be deceiving?

I'm Nycka, I work as a stylist, visual artist and fine art photographer. As a stylist, I was a world pioneer in working with personal image as a non-verbal communication tool.

Once, during the cold period in Curitiba, I went to work looking very androgynous. I'm tall, thin, I have short hair and my appearance already contributes a lot to the androgynous aspect, which I eventually reinforce in clothing.

After work I stopped by the supermarket before heading home. And, on the way, as I was on foot (I was working in a mall close to home), while waiting for the traffic light to turn green for pedestrians, a woman with a little girl of about 5 or 6 years old stopped beside me. The girl asked her mother, looking at me: “is it a boy or a girl?”. The mother got mad at the child, and as soon as the traffic light turned green she ran out and scolded the girl.

I don't believe that clothes have a gender. I often wear men's cut pants because they are more comfortable. I have zero interest in changing genders. I don't believe that my biological gender defines my personality, I don't feel obliged to behave stereotyped as feminine all the time. I believe that everyone has characteristics that are stereotyped as masculine and other characteristics that are stereotyped as feminine, regardless of gender. Certainly Brazilian culture, and possibly others around the world, reinforce(s) stereotypes. It is up to each person, through the process of self-knowledge, to decide whether to accept fitting into stereotypes or not. I have chosen, since I started buying my own clothes, not to dress to satisfy others. I have used my appearance as a tool for non-verbal communication and self-expression since I was eighteen years old. Since I didn't go through the phase of dressing like my friends and people my age when I was a teenager and I was already working in fashion, it was easy to follow that path. So it would be easy and natural for me to respond to that little girl if her mother hadn't taken her far away. I see no mistake, offence or shame in asking what she asked. I see more error in keeping the child in a universe of repression, where wanting to understand the other is treated as a mistake, where there is a war between a single right option and all the others are seen as wrong.

Certainly me and that mother live in different universes. That's why she ran away from me and the uncomfortable situation (for her) of allowing her daughter to experience realities different from those she was used to. And my appearance can be deceiving to the point of doubting whether I am a “boy or a girl”, but it is not deceiving in terms of the fact that I live in a different universe from people who believe that girls should dress with certain options and boys are limited to other options.

I don't work with children's personal image. Not even child celebrities. I believe that to develop a personal style it is necessary to have a dose of self-knowledge that children do not have, because they live in a relationship of relative submission to their parents' beliefs and values, without autonomy to express their individuality in most cases. Many adults also do not have enough autonomy and self-awareness for this.

I'm an artist, and very conventional and conservative behaviour is not inspiring at all. I develop personal styles that are much less daring than mine, but excessive fears, limitations and a conservative mindset do not work within my work. The client must have a dose of openness to do something different from what (s)he has been doing.

If you want to develop a unique personal style, follow the instructions on the “Services available” page. My other services are available to a wider range of profiles.

Nycka

🇬🇧 5 positive and 5 negative characteristics of people

Are you that kind of person who likes everyone? Is it the one who hates anyone who is different from you or has different values? Or some type that is neither of those extremes? This is a text about 5 characteristics that I consider positive and 5 negative characteristics of people.

I'm Nycka, I work as a stylist, visual artist and fine art photographer. As a stylist, I consider personal image as a non-verbal communication tool, and developing a strong personal style is part of a process of self-knowledge and exposure to new possibilities. I am an artist even when working as a stylist, as non-verbal communication is also part of visual arts and fine art photography. As a stylist, I see each client as a work of art, where the communication intentions are not mine, but theirs, as well as in my works of art and photographs made to order.

I believe that we can only know ourselves by living different experiences, meeting different people and discovering what we like and what we don't.

What behavioural characteristics do I see as negative in people?

1. People who use religion to judge others. Religion is a personal development tool. You choose your religion and live by what it teaches. From the moment you want everyone to live according to your religion (which is really just your INTERPRETATION of religion), you demonstrate that you are an ignorant fanatic and disrespect the individuality of others. This also applies to countries that use religion to treat citizens disrespectfully, such as those that criminalise abortion; those who only accept monogamous marriages (disrespecting the individual choices of those who consciously chose polyamory or follow religions that allow multiple relationships); Islamic regimes that curtail women's rights; between others. Each person follows the religion that best suits their personal values ​​and forcing an entire country to live according to the values ​​of a single religion, or the interpretation of that religion by some is disrespectful.
2. People who never left the city where they were born to live outside and criticise immigrants. And sometimes they even criticise native people who don't like the city or criticise some characteristics of the place (or the people of the place).
3. People who think that there are “masculine” and “feminine” behaviours (or jobs, and so many other things), and do not understand the stereotypes, treating human beings like products on the supermarket shelf, where a carton of milk will always have milk in its inside. Not even the products are that homogeneous! Even milk, a commodity, has several different types in the supermarket, which require reading the label to know the qualities of each one.
4. Racist people, including those who think that because they are a certain race or skin colour everyone hates them (so they hate everyone whose skin colour they deem to be the oppressive skin colour, as if such a thing exists). I try to treat people with respect regardless of their skin colour, but if the person generalises and thinks everyone is racist, I lose respect. I understand the impact of bullying, prejudice, but I don't like racism or the victim side of racism.
5. Incompetent professionals. Especially those who do not understand a subject or do not have important skills for their profession and neither assume ignorance nor seek to learn or develop their skills. Along with those who use religion as a crutch, they are among the most intolerable.

In short, I don't like people who don't respect individuality and those who don't take their profession seriously.

Let's go to the positive features:

1. People who seek personal development and emotional maturity.
2. People who seek new experiences and self-knowledge.
3. People who love their work and seek to be above average.
4. People capable of dialoguing with those who think differently without trying to change the other's opinion. Dialogue with people like this is to get to know and understand different points of view and realities. It's not about who is right or wrong.
5. People who respect and treat dogs and cats well. Other animals too, but mostly dogs and cats.

If you liked it, share the text link with your friends on social networks.

Nycka

🇬🇧 About grief

This is a text about grief. Grief doesn't exist just for someone's death. It is a process that can happen in many different situations.

I'm Nycka, I'm a stylist, visual artist and photographer. In this blog and in my profiles on social networks, I talk about different subjects, many of them not related to my work. On social networks, I publish notices about posts here on the blog and also exclusive content.

On Spotify I have a playlist only with songs to deal with grief, and I've been adding new songs to this playlist and the many others I have on that platform as I remember songs I've known for a long time and also as I discover new ones.

In addition to death, in what situations can we experience grief?

Some situations that I notice are:

End of a friendship; end of a romantic relationship; quitting a job, especially when you are fired; moving to another city (you may feel emptied by the new experience, not knowing anyone in the new city, and not having your old friends around); and several other cycles that end in life.

Working with fashion and having a connection with art since I was a child, I notice similarities between life and the changes that inevitably happen throughout it, and fashion, and the changes that also happen in it, at different paces for different types of products.

Grief is a phase where we can learn something important about ourselves. At least for those who are mature, which does not depend on age. This also goes for when someone we love dies. There are many questions we can try to answer in these grieving situations to see what we can learn from the situation.

Comment the questions you've already asked yourself in a period of grief. Your comment might be useful to someone and might help you find answers if you haven't found them yet, or know different answers. My contribution is in the playlist and in the next texts. Click on my Spotify profile link in the sidebar, follow my profile and listen to the “Songs to deal with grief” playlist.

Follow my profiles on social networks for more content.

Nycka

🇬🇧 Masculine and feminine colours

“Girls wear pink and boys wear blue”. Have you ever heard anyone say that? Perhaps you have already said or thought this. Perhaps the “masculine” and “feminine” colours in your country are different.

I'm Nycka, stylist expert in colours, shapes and textures as non-verbal communication tools. I also use this knowledge in my work as a photographer and visual artist. In this text I will talk a little about this belief. Are there male and female colours? Do colours have gender?

The psychology of colours brings important perspectives to be evaluated, proven in the study of art. Nossa Senhora Aparecida, patroness of Brazil, wears a dark blue mantle. Is she a he? No. Many other female religious figures are depicted wearing blue in artwork, and male religious figures such as Jesus Christ are often painted wearing red.

Blue is psychologically related to characteristics that binary thinkers call "feminine": calm, purity, etc. Red, where pink comes from, is linked to "masculine" characteristics such as aggressiveness and impetuosity. I should point out that we all have personality traits that are stereotyped as female and male, regardless of our biological gender. Nobody in this world naturally has only "feminine" characteristics or only "masculine" characteristics. If someone fits these stereotypes 100% it is a result of how they were raised, repressing many of their natural characteristics. The oriental yin-yang symbol represents this well. Healthy people have “masculine” and “feminine” personality traits in balance.

The most famous artistic images of Jesus depict a long-haired man wearing a tunic. I've never seen a picture of Jesus wearing pants. And I say this because the idea that skirts are an exclusive piece of women's wardrobe is also a social construction. Clothes have no gender. Colours have no gender. Behaviours have no gender. And there is no male or female haircut either. In the case of clothing, there are slight differences in male and female modelling to better fit the body shapes of men and women. Which does not prohibit anyone from wearing clothes made with the modelling of the other gender. And there are countless people who understand this. A clear example is the men’s autumn/winter 2023/24 shows that I commented here on the site. They all had skirts and other pieces commonly associated with women's wardrobe.

Society is more involved in the process of self-knowledge and emotional maturation and this generates greater interest in an authentic personal image, developed with specialised professional guidance. To access this, schedule a meeting following the instructions on the “Services available” page.

Nycka

🌍 Why this fad of inclusion in fashion should stop

When will this fad for inclusion in fashion stop? Guys, it's no use.

Most people don't know how to choose what suits them, nor are they really interested in knowing. I worked for years with style consultancy and many people, even knowing it, did not seek professional guidance.

The best the fashion industry can do is let these people dress poorly. No one will stop buying clothes because they don't have dwarf models, pregnant models, fat models, amputees, transsexuals and everything else you can imagine in campaigns, and as there is much more than that, brands will never represent all possible profiles.

The vast majority of people don't have style and never will. This inclusion fad only alienates the public that has style and is interested in clothes with a different design, because we don't want to be like the many people who don't have style and never will.

Style requires self-awareness. And things like being able to see an outfit on the runway or in the store and know whether that outfit is going to flatter us or not. Most people don't have the discernment for that. They never will. And those who like to invest in style don't like to be levelled down like the brands that are raising the banner of inclusion are doing.

I've never been skinny like a model. I've always had wide hips. And I've always been passionate about using fashion to enhance my style. I've worked with this my whole life. Currently I am determined to work with art, but fashion occupies an important position in my life because it was through it that I began to give voice to the artist that I am. It's like that person we dated for years, and the relationship ends without drama and becomes a friendship of great value due to the level of intimacy we have.

Brands that use this false speech of inclusion deserve to be boycotted, because they treat everyone like idiots. Including people they pretend to include. The thinking portion of fashion consumers cannot afford this type of brand by buying their products. The portion that does not think does what it wants. The less stupid and less insecure will follow the example of those with critical thinking.

As an artist, I will always value people who think, who value art and who don't blindly follow the herd.

As a fine art photographer, authorial fashion is closely linked to my work.

If you value art and know how to use the brain app, you value my work and don't feel offended by my content, even if you disagree with my opinions.  If you want to express yours, feel free.

Rather than encouraging attitudes of emotional codependency, need for approval, I advocate authenticity and knowing what values ​​our personality and appearance.

I believe that business leaders have to be leaders with responsibility and assessing the social consequences of their choices. Rubbing the head of those who are ignorant because they want doesn’t help these people to be more self-aware, to understand themselves better and to evolve as human beings. It only reinforces accommodation in a position that is socially negative. Human beings are made to develop personally, professionally and emotionally.

That’s why this fad for inclusion in fashion should stop. I hope it does soon.

Nycka

🇬🇧 Songs to deal with grief

This Christmas it will be twenty years since I last saw my father alive. He was my biggest emotional support. I decided to make a list of songs to deal with grief, or to listen to when we miss someone we love and has passed away. As in some parts of the world it is common to gather the family at Christmas, it can be more difficult to deal with losses during this period. Perhaps the list is useful to listen to in other situations of grief, of closing cycles as well, but I made it thinking about this type of grief. I believe that we should show love while we are alive and I try to do that. The list mixes a bit of what I listen to when I miss someone I'll never see again and songs written for situations of losing someone the composer loves.

• Love in the afternoon, by Legião Urbana.
• Letter to Dana from Sonata Arctica.
• Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton.
• Gostava tanto de você, de Tim Maia.
• Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day.
• Farewell, from Apocalyptica.
• The Loneliest, by Måneskin.
• Need to Believe, by Gotthard. The album this song is part of was the last released during singer Steve Lee's lifetime.
• Come home, by OneRepublic and Sara Bareilles. It's not a song about grief, as far as I'm aware, but it has a sing-to-cry energy.
• Kiss while your lips are still red, by Nightwish.
• Dead boy’s poem, by Nightwish.
• Wish you were here, by Pink Floyd.

Suggest any more?

To find out how to financially support my fine art photography work or promote products and services through my communication channels, read the media kit.

Discover my services.

Listen to these songs: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2CyHDYl25HSTQflH21ESZS?si=b-CUIXC6R92_CXcLGAs7nA

Nycka the Nomad

🇬🇧 World Cup and the profession of the future

End of the World Cup and maybe it's the last time this year that I'm going to talk about football here. I haven't followed the World Cup for over twenty years. This year I saw most of Brazil's games and nothing else. Yesterday I decided to watch the final between Argentina and France. France in the first half looked like they were just present in the game so as not to lose by W.O. As I didn't see the other games of the two teams in the competition, I even suspected a bought game, corruption. The famous Mbape barely saw the ball. It was so ridiculous.

In the second half, Mbape woke up after hitting a penalty and carried the team on his back. In the whole game, those who saw it know that apart from a goal in the decisive penalties, he was the only one to score for France.

Speaking of penalties, I want to see Martinez, the goalkeeper of the Argentine national team, playing for Palmeiras. And I want to see who is going to say that him doing a little dance after saving the second penalty was disrespectful. Or was the scolding only with the Brazilian team?

But what I spent the whole game looking at was the importance of player mental health. The commentators on the channel I was watching said that the emotions of the Argentine team were shaken after France's draw in regular time. Argentina returned to lead the game in overtime and had an excellent overtime, contrary to what the commentators said. Game bought or not, the extension made the victory of the South American team seem deserved. If you didn't see the game, Mbape tied the game and the match went to penalties, and, as happened in Brazil's game against Croatia, two French players missed penalties. The Argentine goalkeeper was brilliant. Go play at Palmeiras, Dibu!

I believe that the profession of the future is psychology focused on niches such as sports psychology and psychology for people with a lot of exposure in the media, such as musicians, actors, artists, influencers, etc. who are extremely exposed to the ups and downs of life and the opinions of others. Life experience, in addition to academic training, will be important for anyone who wants to stand out in this market. Falling into the temptation of judging that the client is too ambitious, that he dreams too high, or not understanding the frustration that is the result of a person being aware of having a giant talent and that talent not bringing the result (s)he expects are sure ways to destroy own career in psychology in the near future.

With the increased visibility of psychology in these niches, the population will seek to take more care of mental health, which is already a topic that is widely explored in social networks.

In a society where mental health is valued, it is easier to recognise one's own qualities and weaknesses, deal with it and also recognise the qualities of other people that can contribute to our growth. And it's easier to deal with the ups and downs, in life and in sport.

Discover my available services.

To know how to financially support my fine art photography work and promote products and services through my communication channels, read the media kit.

Nycka the Nomad

🇬🇧 About brazilian dancing and attitude during the World Cup

Let's talk about the World Cup. Once again.

After the victory of the Brazilian team against South Korea, a former Irish player complained about the Brazilian players dancing after each goal. He said the dances were disrespectful to the opposing team. I've been following Brazilian football since the 90's. Goal celebrations vary from time to time and with the success of Tiktok, dancing is the newest trend. It's not just during the World Cup. In any game of the national or international championships, players from Brazilian teams celebrate in this way. So why criticise the national team for doing something they are used to doing and is harmful to nobody? Was it perhaps because of the former player's past of aggression on the field that he made the criticism? Could he be a macho man from the countryside who thinks that dancing is not a man's thing, and to play football one must demonstrate his masculinity by breaking an opponent's leg? The time for that kind of man has passed. In today's society there is very little room left for the aggressive man, fortunately.

On the other hand, the Brazilian team deserves criticism for another reason. Still on the game against South Korea, in the second half Brazil stopped playing. The game was sleepy. They looked like those bad students who just try hard enough to get through their grades in school. They opened an advantage over the opponent and lost the opportunity to play well and score more goals. In the group stage they did the same. In the game against Cameroon, as they had already secured a place in the round of 16, they relaxed and... they lost! They use the excuse that they played with a reserve team, but a national team should have the best players from that country. Including reserve players. Is that having a winning mindset? In my view, no. And I have my reasons for criticising the brazilian national team in this regard. Let's go to them.

Football is, above all, entertainment. People want to see beautiful plays and lots of goals. If it is possible to win 12-0, there is no reason, in the eyes of the fan, to accept winning only 4-1 (South Korea scored due to the ridiculous attitude of brazilian players in the second half of the game). And in football, as entertainment, the fan matters.

Another point: Palmeiras, the current Brazilian champions, has, since Abel Ferreira was hired as the team's coach, a very different mentality from that of being satisfied with securing the result. By respecting the fans by bringing a team that seeks to score the most goals per game and take the least number of goals from the opponent, the team gains support from the fans who sing and cheer and support the team even in very difficult games. Palmeiras also has a team that even with substitutions and improvisations, the team plays well. They don't use the excuse of playing with reserves to justify a defeat. The coach assumes the responsibility for the defeat, either because he chose the players badly, because he opted for a game strategy that did not work or for any other reason that he perceived as the cause of the problem.

Using the excuse of playing with a reserve team is childish. A sign of immaturity. It's like tripping over a stone and blaming the stone for having crossed your path. Those who act like this don't learn from their own mistakes.

Will Brazil reach the World Cup final? I don't know. With that mindset I don't trust enough. But eventually the student who puts in the least effort also is approved. But for anyone whose personal values ​​include  striving for excellence, this attitude is unacceptable.

I’m a photographer, but I can help you to develop the right attitude towards your career, through a strong personal brand and help your business to become remarkable too.

To advertise on my communication channels or sponsor my work, read the media kit.

Nycka the Nomad

🇬🇧 Gwendoline Christie and the choices of tall women

In the previous text I talked about men in high heels. In this one I talk about tall women and the impact of common sense on their choices. Actress Gwendoline Christie, Larissa Weems from the series Wednesday, is 1.91 m tall and has already said that when she decided to be a film actress people around her said it would be difficult due to her height. I also saw she said that in the series Wednesday is the first time that she thinks she is beautiful on screen, because in other roles her image tended to be masculinised, usually without makeup, that feature that so many women love.

Many of us live in a society that is still very sexist and even women have sexist thoughts. And the beliefs we hold affect our choices. Including our style and career choices. Do not read this text thinking about the oppressor and the oppressed. It is a mistake. Think of individual responsibility. In what you do that reinforces your belief of being "oppressed", for example. I mentioned Gwendoline Christie because, from the little information I had about her, she didn't surrender to what the people around her said and believed in her ability to build the career she chose, the life she chose.

There is a lot of talk about “beauty standards”, and it is curious to note that even though all runway models are tall, ordinary women who are tall often feel uncomfortable with their height. Which reinforces what I said in another text I published here on the website about representation.

It is common for tall women not even to wear heels, which seems not to be a problem for Gwendoline Christie. In a text I wrote in 2008 on the subject, many women, some even shorter than me, who am 1.75 m, said that they don't wear heels because they would look much taller than their friends and boyfriends. I've been wearing heels since I was a kid and one of my best friends in high school was a ballerina. And, of course, shorter than me. And we keep in touch today, even almost thirty years after finishing high school.

About love relationships, where does the need for a taller man come from? Gwendoline's partner is 6cm shorter than her (according to information I found on the internet). Why would it be embarrassing for a woman to date a shorter man? Why would it be embarrassing for a man to date a taller woman? Height we cannot change. It's one of those things that you either accept yours or you accept it. Heels can make someone look taller, but they also convey other messages. Among them, that of assuming your personal power. And this is also possible for tall women. As I commented in the previous text, if even tall men wear heels, there is no reason for tall women to limit themselves to shoes without heels.

Certainly, the way people educate their daughters interferes with these impressions, as well as what is publicised by the local media. In Brazil, it is common to repress girls who act like boys, who sit with their legs apart, or cross their legs in order to occupy more space, as it is common for men to do. I know the weight of the family's opinion in a child's head, but I assume that those who read my content are adults. It's already easier to question, even very ingrained beliefs in the mind.

About career, in adolescence I often heard that I should be a volleyball player. I was very bad at team sports, including football, which I played until I was about 12 years old at a time when women's football did not exist in Brazil. Once they invited me to play volleyball on the school team because I was tall. I knew almost nothing. No one at school or on the team offered to teach me. One day I went to my cousin's house and we played until I learned, at least, how to serve the ball. Nobody told me we had a game that day and when I got to school I found out that the team lost by W.O. I only won because I solved the “problem” of not knowing how to play volleyball. And I preferred to follow professional paths where my creativity is more relevant than my physique. Today I see professional athletes in a different way.

How much do you let other people's opinions of your height influence your decisions? Are you submissive to the opinions of family members and close people or do you seek to build a life that exalts your qualities? 

I’m a photographer and style advisor. If you need some help to deal with your height, style or appearance or if you love yourself and want to register how beautiful you are, you can count on my services. 

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Nycka, the Nomad

🇬🇧 What is buddhist enlightenment

Let's talk about well-being. What is the enlightenment that Buddhists talk about so much?

Imagine that you have inherited a house that has been standing (not renting or selling) and without electricity for years. Until that moment you lived for rent in a tiny apartment in a dangerous neighbourhood and the house is so large, in that place you always wanted to live and thought it was impossible... The condition for living there and enjoying the inheritance is to make the necessary renovations.

And when you turn on the light and enter you are faced with everything that is there. Garbage that the former owners left behind, cobwebs, very well-maintained and beautiful antique furniture (perhaps rare!), and much more. Things that must be kept and taken care of, others that must be discarded to make room for what the house deserves. And after cleaning the house, painting the walls, doing all the renovations, you'll still have to buy a few more things to make the house look the way you want it. A rug here, a dinner set there, a little art, and every detail will make this house more cozy and make you want to live there.

Now think that this house is the life you always wanted to have. Reform is the reform of your thoughts and attitudes, it is reforming your mentality and your way of acting. And there are thoughts and attitudes that we inherit from family, the media or society and limit us, and that's why it's better to discard them to make room for new beliefs and attitudes that help us to be who we want to be, better people, with more true friends, better works, etc. And so many other thoughts that are positive, that make us stronger and already contribute to being who we want to be. Without them, we wouldn't even have the will to “clear the house” of our mind, face up to what makes us good and what makes us bad, and it's there, within our reach. We would prefer to stay in the small, rented property away from the paradise where the house is located.

There is a law of cause and effect that governs the universe. If you don't “renovate the house” you can't live the life of your dreams, or maybe you can for a while, but soon you lose.

Buddhism is a philosophy that directs us so that we can become who we want to be in order to have the life we ​​want to have. It's not overnight. Cleaning your mind takes work, it can take a lot of time, it depends on your commitment and how much garbage is there.

Lighting is the act of turning on the light in that home of the initial example each day and engaging in what needs to be done for it to be a warm, welcoming home. It's being able to see every limiting thought you have and push it away, replace it with a different thought (which may also be limiting, but you change it again as soon as you see it). It's having the courage to distance ourselves from people who only slow down our lives and quit jobs that don't get us where we want to go. Enlightenment is being aware that you are the author of your own story, and if it's bad now it's because you've let a lot of rubbish accumulate and have a lot of work to do, but with honesty, persistence and patience you'll get what you want.

Nycka, the Nomad 

🇬🇧 Can allergic people have dogs and cats?

Many people have allergies. Some of them are allergic to cats and dogs. What may surprise those who follow this blog and my social networks and know that I have these pets, is that I was diagnosed with an allergy to animal hair in my teens.

With this information, the questions “who has allergies can have a dog?” and "who has allergies can have a cat?" theoretically have a yes as an answer. And I say theoretically because I don’t want anyone to buy or adopt an animal and then have allergic attacks, abandon the animal and come and say that I said one could. I'm saying that I managed to have long and semi long-haired dogs all my life without major problems. The last two, both of the Lhasa Apso breed, kept in long hair most of the time, slept in my bed. Thor, my cat, makes my arm as pillow at bedtime.

With dogs, despite the medical diagnosis, I never had any problems. When I decided to adopt the cats I went to the doctor and explained the situation of being allergic, never having had cats, and I wanted some medicine if the allergy manifested itself.  He prescribed me a spray to use on my nose only when I had allergic attacks and I even used the medicine a few times, but then the attacks disappeared. I kept the medicine until its expiration date and threw away more than half due to lack of use.

So, with the proper care, I believe that any person who, like me, loves animals, who is not afraid of them or wants to overcome that fear, can have a dog or cat without major problems. But as I am neither a doctor nor know you, I recommend testing your allergic reactions with dogs and cats from friends, neighbors, etc. before purchasing one. Visit friends who have dogs, play with neighborhood dogs, always with the necessary care. The same with cats. Look for anyone who has sociable cats (not Thor's case) and try to interact with them, play, pet, etc. A pet is like a child: a responsibility that lasts for many years. So before adopting or buying one, talk to a doctor or more than one, see the care that the professional recommends and, taking such care, start to approach dogs, cats or both to see how your body reacts. If you react well for a few weeks, then you start thinking about getting yours.  Remember that no responsible breeder or protector sells or donates dogs or cats under three months of age. If a kennel or cattery wants to deliver you a puppy less than three months old, without all the vaccines, look for another one that takes breeding seriously and takes care of the animals' health.

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Nycka, the Nomad

🇬🇧 Interesting things to do at home

These are some interesting things to do at home:

• Watch interesting movies
• Read good books
• Practice creativity in the kitchen (creating new recipes)
• Spend time to have fun with your dog or cat. Don't you have one? There are many that you can adopt if you are willing to offer love, quality food and vet services (including vaccines).
• Play games with your family or online.
• Listen to good music.
• Learn some skills.
• To study.
• Organise your clothes and throw away those that offer nothing positive to your personal style.
• Know yourself, observing your thoughts and emotions. Learn from this exercise and become a better person.

 Nycka, the nomad

🇬🇧 Fruits and vegetables for picky eaters

When we think about well being we think about to eat well, to have a balanced diet. I think this must start when we're children, but some of us did not have the healthy example at home, so, it's never too late to change.

I was a picky eater when I was a child. My regular meals were rice, beans, potatoes and meat or chicken. Currently I love vegetables, but I'm still picky to eat fruits. If you give me a watermelon to eat I'll refuse. The taste is good, so, I'd love the juice of that fruit, but all that seeds discourage me to eat it.

How did I change?

I started trying chinese food when I was 22, soon after to move from my hometown to study at the university in another. In the city where I was born there weren't chinese restaurants. Soy sauce is helpful to change the taste of the vegetables, so, I loved Yakissoba (that chinese pasta with vegetables and meat). The same time, at home one of my roommates used to prepare some good soufflés with vegetables. Every week the day she cooked she prepared some soufflé and I liked. As I like to cook (but only when my creativity can participate), later I started trying to prepare vegetables trying new flavours. Some years ago I tried to be vegetarian and, avoiding a soy-based diet, I chose to try all the vegetables I could. And my diet became richer and colourful.

For fruits my path is to eat them the way I exclude what displeases me. To have the benefits of watermelon, I drink the juice or try an ice cream. To eat banana I fry it and eat it with sugar. Or I can prepare a cake or a smoothie with yogurt or milk, banana and something more to add some colour.

It's like with friendship. Some friends are great to go out with; others are as fans of cinema as I am, so we often see some movie together, other ones like the same kind of music and we go to some shows together, and so on. The same way, there are fruits and vegetables we like to eat raw, other ones we prefer cooked, baked, fried or as juices, smoothies, ice creams. Some we need something to change its taste or colour. Other we appreciate the colour and taste. And somewhat we find the balance for our bodies. I recommend you to visit a good nutritionist instead of follow these crazy diets we often see as the trend of the moment. Currently, some of them are about to cut gluten, lactose or carbohydrates. I prefer to cut nothing and be open to try new flavours, new mixes of ingredients, new experiences.

Nycka, the Nomad