🇧🇷 “Já pode casar”

Já ouvi várias vezes a expressão “já pode casar”, em geral usada como “elogio” a alguém que preparou uma boa comida, um docinho delicioso, enfim, uma pessoa que acertou a mão na cozinha. Geralmente uma mulher, mas vou ignorar o sentido machista desta vez, porque a expressão é tão tosca que nem precisa desse argumento.

Legalmente, para casar a pessoa só precisa ter idade e com quem casar. Deve ter de pagar alguma taxa também. Mas as habilidades culinárias nada têm a ver com isso. E se for pensar em habilidades, as culinárias também não deveriam ter tal peso, visto que muito mais importante que isso é ter maturidade emocional para um relacionamento e para construir uma família. Maturidade esta que infelizmente muita gente casa sem ter.

Maturidade emocional é uma qualidade difícil de ser cultivada, mas que vale a pena. Tira de jogo muito do senso comum que crescemos acreditando como se fossem verdades absolutas. Nos liberta das prisões que nossa família, aquelas pessoas que se casaram e botaram filhos no mundo sem maturidade emocional pra isso, nos meteu. E pode libertar pais e filhos de conflitos de gerações, quando os pais têm filhos apenas após ter desenvolvido esta qualidade.

Então, daqui por diante, quando perceber atitudes que revelam maturidade emocional de outra pessoa, fique à vontade para dizer “já pode casar”. E não diga essa frase quando a pessoa souber cozinhar, porque ela pode trabalhar num restaurante, numa confeitaria, mas a habilidade de cozinhar não prepara ninguém pra casar.

Nycka, the nomad 

🇬🇧 The greatest showman

I watched this movie yesterday and I was happy to see the movie don’t show “minorities”. It shows various different people united for a show. Nobody is there to defend those who are physically equal to themselves. People physically equal to ourselves don’t exist! Minorities don’t exist. Each individual is unique! To believe in minorities is to deny your individuality, to desperately try to find someone like you, denying what makes you unique.

For this reason I believe style and even professional plans must be considered individually. Like art. True art is never a copy. Some singer trying to sing a cover of someone else cannot be considered an artist if the singer is trying to imitate the original style. That’s why many musicians are not valued. They didn’t find their professional identity. The same for many other professional activities. There are many teachers who don’t encourage their students to develop critical sense. They just repeat what they learned. They are shallow. Teachers like these can never claim for a raise because they are absolutely mediocre.

Mediocrity is to deny the blessings you receive daily. I embrace each one of them.

Those who deserve all blessings deserve a unique style and a unique path for professional success. Do you?

Nycka, the nomad 

🇬🇧 Could you improve your standards?

Life teach us discreetly to improve constantly. Not everyone understands this simple lesson.

When we go to school we start learning some easy things, that are challenging for us that time, and the challenges increase year after year. Some students are lazy and barely study enough to pass to the next level. Other ones are interested in understand each theme and ask questions, research in books or in the internet, etc. To study is not about to go to school or to the university. To study is to cultivate the desire to learn and to improve.

When we play video games, each level is more difficult than the previous one.

At work, more than ambition, what make us go from assistant or intern to manager or director should be this need of being better day after day, to embrace new challenges and generate self development.

Lazy students become mediocre professionals. Outstanding professionals are built from childhood, learning to appreciate challenges since they’re very young. Are sports good for this? I think they can be, but they’re not the only path. To learn to ask questions and to analyse each theme is very important. Sports and arts and philosophy are very helpful to see the world from different perspectives.

Any machine is able to blindly follow rules. After the boom of the profession of personal stylist, with TV shows about this and everything else, we could find apps which do what some people imagine is “the same” work. It’s not. What apps do is to apply the techniques, the formulas. The true activity of a competent personal stylist is beyond techniques. It’s like art. Anyone can learn to play guitar and try to sing Bon Jovi’s songs in local bars. But there is only one Bon Jovi in the world. True personal style only is possible through highly qualified human advice, like myself. You won’t find anything better. But if your self esteem is low, you’ll consider any crumb like apps or any other professional. This is worse for you. They don’t know the path to help you to perform a deep transformation in yourself through style as I can. I am for those who deserve the best, even when they already know outstanding fashion brands, when they have the best of everything, because they still don’t know what I know. Even celebrities make style mistakes.
Everyone must improve ones standards continuously. If you don’t have this as part of yourself, as natural as breathing, you’re a loser.

Nycka, the nomad

🇬🇧 Sense of belonging

There’s a Gotthard’s song which starts saying:

“I've been lost and found, run out of grace

Felt the city's cold embrace, and I learned the hard way

How it feels to be lonely

I've seen perfect skies, turn into grey

Had my dreams all washed away

And I realised what I wanted was already mine

I'm back to where I belong

Been a long time gone, now it feels like home”

It’s a love song, but this first part can help us to think about so many things. Pay attention you’re reading the words of a nomad. 

I’ll consider this sense of belonging from three points of view in this post.

1. Sense of belonging and work-life balance: for this point I must say this balance is about to organise the 24 hours we have daily in a way we can work, eat, sleep and have time to practice self-development, to meet friends, to have a time with quality with our family, to practice a foreign language and sports, and to enjoy art and culture, etc. I believe we are made to practice continuous self improvement. And technology is giving us all tools to dedicate more time for this than to any less relevant activity. All the points I mentioned above are important to find the balance. We must know ourselves, practicing self-awareness everyday. Without this we’ll never find our individual balance.
2. Sense of belonging and personal style: once more, self awareness is important. If you’re not aware about who you are, anything a professional or even an influencer with zero knowledge on the fashion industry says will satisfy you. This is “comfortable” sometimes, but keeps you distant from THAT image expressing your best self. When we find that style that express who we are without the need to speak, this is a great experience. Of course the person must be a bit bold to embrace such a strong style. Those people who have a common style, who don’t shine in the crowd even when their clothes are discreet, are people with a weak personality. 
3. Sense of belonging and inner peace: the perfect place would be somewhere like that village close to Hogwarts, where only wizards live (if you’re a wizard). But the world is big and while I don’t find such a perfect place, I try to be close to the “perfect” people. Those who are open minded, eager to learn, to exchange ideas and experiences and creative. From my experience I noticed most small towns are not the best place for creative people as people tend to be too conservative. In big cities although the number of conservative people is big, the chances to find people with this profile are bigger than in small places. And... we have the internet and opportunities to travel to build this network of interesting people all the time! Considering this, there’s no doubt I don’t believe we belong to some specific place. We are born in some place, but we can have a mindset very different from that people and... we become nomads! Finding new friends and professional opportunities everywhere. For this, cultural richness is very important. Cultural nomads belong to themselves and this is freedom.

Nycka, the nomad

🇬🇧 How to measure work?

As an independent professional, sometimes playing as a freelance, and often helping people to deal with their professional doubts, this question is often presented to me by myself or other people.

Many businesses still measure work according to hours. The regular employees work from 9 to 5 (or other schedule, according to the country). But this is a disadvantage for businesses with a culture of excellence and growth.

Why do I believe this method is wrong for such businesses? It’s simple. Considering only how many hours each employee is working, a proactive, dynamic professional is able to deliver much more results in a day than a lazy colleague. So, what’s the advantage of being proactive and dynamic - as many recruiters ask candidates to be - if the culture of that business doesn’t encourage these qualities? None! So, talented people leave the business as soon as possible and go after other opportunities and possibilities.

Only by treasuring talented professionals and offering proper environment for them to exhibit their best the companies will really put excellence and growth in practice as part of their cultures. Otherwise they’re only showing a culture of laziness and mediocrity.

Nycka, the nomad 

🇬🇧 Don’t stop me now

Last Monday I watched Bohemian Rhapsody with some friends. I was enchanted with the strength of the main character. I know the movie is not completely faithful to the life of Freddie Mercury, but it caused a positive impact on me. I love biographies, in books or movies. And I love them even more when I see something similar to my own life or to the person I want to be.

As many biographies, the movie exhibit conflicts and moments of joy. I’m grateful for loving reading biographies since I was an adolescent because this helped me to see everyone have conflicts and sufferings, and the way to deal with that is far different to the way the majority does.

I really appreciate strong people who don’t need to pretend emotions or ideas they don’t have. I appreciate people who are able to be themselves in a positive way. People who express themselves clearly, not saying something in codes only they and their peers are able to understand. I like people who are able to tell about their feelings and intentions. And people who are always improving, trying their best (like Freddie Mercury did in this movie).

Continuous improvement is a lifestyle. Is part of my lifestyle. And being so, I recommend you to watch this movie observing this point of view. With AI (artificial intelligence) the world won’t need mediocre people. Take care.

Nycka, the nomad

🇬🇧 Easy Rider - 50 years (free from spoilers)

The iconic movie “Easy Rider”, from 1969, celebrated 50 years recently. Peter Fonda, one of the stars in the movie, died in 2019 too. I had the opportunity to watch this movie for the second time this Saturday. 

Easy Rider is about two men who were travelling from LA to the Mardi Gras in New Orleans. The photography is astonishing. The soundtrack is wonderful. We see two men travelling in customised motorcycles and we forget how boring can be to hear nothing but the motorcycles and themselves for many kilometres. Currently we can travel listening to music while riding but we’re talking about 1969, before the famous Woodstock festival. The technology was not that fine.

The movie shows the guys making friends and enemies along the road. There is an amazing speech from George Hanson (Jack Nicholson) during the movie where he speaks about what his two travel companions represent to many people. He talks about freedom. And how free people disturb “normal” people. We know this from many other resources like Harry Potter or Dom Casmurro, a book from brazilian writer Machado de Assis where Bentinho feels constantly threatened by the charming Capitu.

If we observe our current reality, anywhere in this world we find these two groups: the ignorant brutes who kill or threaten anyone who is different and open minded, and the people who enjoys the company of free people. 

Going one step further, I must say innovative people are always somewhat free. It’s impossible to be innovative hating change, hating the different. It’s impossible because to innovate is to create change.

No, the movie is not about innovation. This blog is. And I’m sharing what I perceive from that story that can be useful for people who appreciate innovation and who are open to observe art with a critical eye. You’re free to share your thoughts, avoiding spoilers in the comments.

Nycka, the nomad

🇬🇧 Feeling good

I am brazilian. One of the first songs I learned studying english was Tracy Chapman’s “Baby, can I hold you”. This song talks about how to express feelings through gestures. It’s a beautiful song.

Yesterday I woke up and received a message of “Good morning” from a friend from abroad on my cellphone. The perfect timing, as he sent the message a few minutes before I wake up. The cellphone were on silent mode while I slept. Then another friend sent a video about the September 11, when the twin towers felt down, and about the value of those people we appreciate.

And while I was writing this post, navigating on Facebook while thinking on how to say what is in my mind, I saw a video from that song. 

The simple attitudes of my friends reminded me the day my father died and that I felt I was unable to express my feelings properly, I felt as if I didn’t have expressed well how much I appreciated him. It was on January 2004. And here I am, more than fifteen years later, observing how much I evolved about this matter. I can say “I like you, you’re important to me” from the bottom of my heart and feel completely comfortable about this. To be true, uncomfortable to me is to hide my feelings.

Observing myself and my experiences I noticed people come to me to many things, and when I am the one in need of a helping hand I must go and ask them. Many times I find the help I need. I felt very uncomfortable about having to ask for help for a long while, but considering I help people and I find the support I need, currently I feel grateful. If people don’t notice when I need help, maybe it’s because I look strong. And I am strong, sometimes too much. But to need a help is not weakness. It’s something normal to anyone, even to Robinson Crusoe in that island.

Yesterday was a great day. Friend, you could send me “good morning” messages everyday! 😄 I felt embraced by that simple gesture. 

Nycka, the nomad

🇧🇷 Onde está a excelência

Uma cultura de excelência começa cedo, na infância. Tive a boa sorte de buscar ser uma boa aluna desde muito jovem e, trabalhando desde muito cedo, também buscava ser excelente neste campo. Eu sempre me cobrei muito. Era complicado lidar com essa cobrança, mas tinha suas vantagens no tempo de escola e muitas vantagens extras que descobri posteriormente e desfruto hoje.

A diferença entre quem é original e quem é medíocre começa ali. O medíocre se contenta em ter notas para passar. Eu, mesmo nas matérias que detestava, tentava aprender. Eu tive professores de química e física no ensino médio cujos métodos de ensino não eram muito positivos para mim. Leia-se: gente que ensinava esperando que o aluno decorasse a matéria e só. Não gosto de decorar matérias e repetir feito papagaio. Gosto de pensar. Quando fiz cursinho pré-vestibular tive sorte de ter professores destas mesmas matérias que usavam uma metodologia mais prática e consegui aprender algo.

Tem gente que sob essa cobrança interna e a externa que pode surgir, segue um caminho de negatividade. Numa sociedade com tanto mimimi e tanta ignorância, tenho orgulho de ter usado minhas experiências pessoais para me tornar uma pessoa verdadeiramente forte, e inigualável no que tange às minhas habilidades profissionais. Tenho orgulho e me pergunto se ainda faz sentido escrever em português, se as pessoas que buscam a excelência provavelmente falam inglês fluentemente, por ser a linguagem dos negócios no mundo. Penso se vale a pena continuar escrevendo em português sobretudo porque conheço poucas marcas que tenham valores similares aos meus - principalmente a busca da excelência através do aprimoramento constante e a originalidade - e sejam nativas de países de língua portuguesa.

Neste momento, minha intenção de escrever em português está sendo confrontada. Estou buscando o melhor para mim.

Nycka, the nomad

🇬🇧 The choice

Someone asked me why some businesses don’t hire the best candidates. Other asked for whom is easier to find a job and for whom is harder.
My answer for both is another question:
If the sexiest celebrity (you choose the gender) wanted to date you, would you feel afraid to have so precious partner or would you embrace the opportunity confidently?
Your choice tells a lot about your decisions as a leader or your decisions while looking for a job, and also about other personal choices.
To get the best of your personal brand, hire my style consultancy.

Nycka, the Nomad

#personalbranding

🇬🇧 The wisdom of evolution

The theories on the evolution of species show us who wins the challenges in life. The cries of those pitying themselves are only worthy when they’re open to conquer their weaknesses and evolve. Otherwise they’re shameful.

I’m grateful I had known many different realities along life and I choose to create the reality I prefer for myself.

I’m lucky as I meet great people from time to time and I’m not obligated to keep the mediocre ones around.

I’m lucky because I built my luck and currently I can write about anything and my services are available without the need to prove my competences as I already did this.

Mediocrity is ridiculous because it’s too simple to be left behind if the person is willing to do this. It’s a problem for the majority just because they have the false belief outstanding people have an easy life and never faced hardships when the true is most outstanding people faced boldly their inner enemies while mediocre people only try to find someone else to blame on their misery.

Even China is learning the lesson all the world should. This concerns to governments, business administration and personal development. It starts on each individual.

Nycka, the Nomad