🇬🇧 Songs to deal with grief

This Christmas it will be twenty years since I last saw my father alive. He was my biggest emotional support. I decided to make a list of songs to deal with grief, or to listen to when we miss someone we love and has passed away. As in some parts of the world it is common to gather the family at Christmas, it can be more difficult to deal with losses during this period. Perhaps the list is useful to listen to in other situations of grief, of closing cycles as well, but I made it thinking about this type of grief. I believe that we should show love while we are alive and I try to do that. The list mixes a bit of what I listen to when I miss someone I'll never see again and songs written for situations of losing someone the composer loves.

• Love in the afternoon, by Legião Urbana.
• Letter to Dana from Sonata Arctica.
• Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton.
• Gostava tanto de você, de Tim Maia.
• Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day.
• Farewell, from Apocalyptica.
• The Loneliest, by Måneskin.
• Need to Believe, by Gotthard. The album this song is part of was the last released during singer Steve Lee's lifetime.
• Come home, by OneRepublic and Sara Bareilles. It's not a song about grief, as far as I'm aware, but it has a sing-to-cry energy.
• Kiss while your lips are still red, by Nightwish.
• Dead boy’s poem, by Nightwish.
• Wish you were here, by Pink Floyd.

Suggest any more?

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Listen to these songs: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2CyHDYl25HSTQflH21ESZS?si=b-CUIXC6R92_CXcLGAs7nA

Nycka the Nomad

🇬🇧 World Cup and the profession of the future

End of the World Cup and maybe it's the last time this year that I'm going to talk about football here. I haven't followed the World Cup for over twenty years. This year I saw most of Brazil's games and nothing else. Yesterday I decided to watch the final between Argentina and France. France in the first half looked like they were just present in the game so as not to lose by W.O. As I didn't see the other games of the two teams in the competition, I even suspected a bought game, corruption. The famous Mbape barely saw the ball. It was so ridiculous.

In the second half, Mbape woke up after hitting a penalty and carried the team on his back. In the whole game, those who saw it know that apart from a goal in the decisive penalties, he was the only one to score for France.

Speaking of penalties, I want to see Martinez, the goalkeeper of the Argentine national team, playing for Palmeiras. And I want to see who is going to say that him doing a little dance after saving the second penalty was disrespectful. Or was the scolding only with the Brazilian team?

But what I spent the whole game looking at was the importance of player mental health. The commentators on the channel I was watching said that the emotions of the Argentine team were shaken after France's draw in regular time. Argentina returned to lead the game in overtime and had an excellent overtime, contrary to what the commentators said. Game bought or not, the extension made the victory of the South American team seem deserved. If you didn't see the game, Mbape tied the game and the match went to penalties, and, as happened in Brazil's game against Croatia, two French players missed penalties. The Argentine goalkeeper was brilliant. Go play at Palmeiras, Dibu!

I believe that the profession of the future is psychology focused on niches such as sports psychology and psychology for people with a lot of exposure in the media, such as musicians, actors, artists, influencers, etc. who are extremely exposed to the ups and downs of life and the opinions of others. Life experience, in addition to academic training, will be important for anyone who wants to stand out in this market. Falling into the temptation of judging that the client is too ambitious, that he dreams too high, or not understanding the frustration that is the result of a person being aware of having a giant talent and that talent not bringing the result (s)he expects are sure ways to destroy own career in psychology in the near future.

With the increased visibility of psychology in these niches, the population will seek to take more care of mental health, which is already a topic that is widely explored in social networks.

In a society where mental health is valued, it is easier to recognise one's own qualities and weaknesses, deal with it and also recognise the qualities of other people that can contribute to our growth. And it's easier to deal with the ups and downs, in life and in sport.

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Nycka the Nomad

🇬🇧 About brazilian dancing and attitude during the World Cup

Let's talk about the World Cup. Once again.

After the victory of the Brazilian team against South Korea, a former Irish player complained about the Brazilian players dancing after each goal. He said the dances were disrespectful to the opposing team. I've been following Brazilian football since the 90's. Goal celebrations vary from time to time and with the success of Tiktok, dancing is the newest trend. It's not just during the World Cup. In any game of the national or international championships, players from Brazilian teams celebrate in this way. So why criticise the national team for doing something they are used to doing and is harmful to nobody? Was it perhaps because of the former player's past of aggression on the field that he made the criticism? Could he be a macho man from the countryside who thinks that dancing is not a man's thing, and to play football one must demonstrate his masculinity by breaking an opponent's leg? The time for that kind of man has passed. In today's society there is very little room left for the aggressive man, fortunately.

On the other hand, the Brazilian team deserves criticism for another reason. Still on the game against South Korea, in the second half Brazil stopped playing. The game was sleepy. They looked like those bad students who just try hard enough to get through their grades in school. They opened an advantage over the opponent and lost the opportunity to play well and score more goals. In the group stage they did the same. In the game against Cameroon, as they had already secured a place in the round of 16, they relaxed and... they lost! They use the excuse that they played with a reserve team, but a national team should have the best players from that country. Including reserve players. Is that having a winning mindset? In my view, no. And I have my reasons for criticising the brazilian national team in this regard. Let's go to them.

Football is, above all, entertainment. People want to see beautiful plays and lots of goals. If it is possible to win 12-0, there is no reason, in the eyes of the fan, to accept winning only 4-1 (South Korea scored due to the ridiculous attitude of brazilian players in the second half of the game). And in football, as entertainment, the fan matters.

Another point: Palmeiras, the current Brazilian champions, has, since Abel Ferreira was hired as the team's coach, a very different mentality from that of being satisfied with securing the result. By respecting the fans by bringing a team that seeks to score the most goals per game and take the least number of goals from the opponent, the team gains support from the fans who sing and cheer and support the team even in very difficult games. Palmeiras also has a team that even with substitutions and improvisations, the team plays well. They don't use the excuse of playing with reserves to justify a defeat. The coach assumes the responsibility for the defeat, either because he chose the players badly, because he opted for a game strategy that did not work or for any other reason that he perceived as the cause of the problem.

Using the excuse of playing with a reserve team is childish. A sign of immaturity. It's like tripping over a stone and blaming the stone for having crossed your path. Those who act like this don't learn from their own mistakes.

Will Brazil reach the World Cup final? I don't know. With that mindset I don't trust enough. But eventually the student who puts in the least effort also is approved. But for anyone whose personal values ​​include  striving for excellence, this attitude is unacceptable.

I’m a photographer, but I can help you to develop the right attitude towards your career, through a strong personal brand and help your business to become remarkable too.

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Nycka the Nomad

🇬🇧 Gwendoline Christie and the choices of tall women

In the previous text I talked about men in high heels. In this one I talk about tall women and the impact of common sense on their choices. Actress Gwendoline Christie, Larissa Weems from the series Wednesday, is 1.91 m tall and has already said that when she decided to be a film actress people around her said it would be difficult due to her height. I also saw she said that in the series Wednesday is the first time that she thinks she is beautiful on screen, because in other roles her image tended to be masculinised, usually without makeup, that feature that so many women love.

Many of us live in a society that is still very sexist and even women have sexist thoughts. And the beliefs we hold affect our choices. Including our style and career choices. Do not read this text thinking about the oppressor and the oppressed. It is a mistake. Think of individual responsibility. In what you do that reinforces your belief of being "oppressed", for example. I mentioned Gwendoline Christie because, from the little information I had about her, she didn't surrender to what the people around her said and believed in her ability to build the career she chose, the life she chose.

There is a lot of talk about “beauty standards”, and it is curious to note that even though all runway models are tall, ordinary women who are tall often feel uncomfortable with their height. Which reinforces what I said in another text I published here on the website about representation.

It is common for tall women not even to wear heels, which seems not to be a problem for Gwendoline Christie. In a text I wrote in 2008 on the subject, many women, some even shorter than me, who am 1.75 m, said that they don't wear heels because they would look much taller than their friends and boyfriends. I've been wearing heels since I was a kid and one of my best friends in high school was a ballerina. And, of course, shorter than me. And we keep in touch today, even almost thirty years after finishing high school.

About love relationships, where does the need for a taller man come from? Gwendoline's partner is 6cm shorter than her (according to information I found on the internet). Why would it be embarrassing for a woman to date a shorter man? Why would it be embarrassing for a man to date a taller woman? Height we cannot change. It's one of those things that you either accept yours or you accept it. Heels can make someone look taller, but they also convey other messages. Among them, that of assuming your personal power. And this is also possible for tall women. As I commented in the previous text, if even tall men wear heels, there is no reason for tall women to limit themselves to shoes without heels.

Certainly, the way people educate their daughters interferes with these impressions, as well as what is publicised by the local media. In Brazil, it is common to repress girls who act like boys, who sit with their legs apart, or cross their legs in order to occupy more space, as it is common for men to do. I know the weight of the family's opinion in a child's head, but I assume that those who read my content are adults. It's already easier to question, even very ingrained beliefs in the mind.

About career, in adolescence I often heard that I should be a volleyball player. I was very bad at team sports, including football, which I played until I was about 12 years old at a time when women's football did not exist in Brazil. Once they invited me to play volleyball on the school team because I was tall. I knew almost nothing. No one at school or on the team offered to teach me. One day I went to my cousin's house and we played until I learned, at least, how to serve the ball. Nobody told me we had a game that day and when I got to school I found out that the team lost by W.O. I only won because I solved the “problem” of not knowing how to play volleyball. And I preferred to follow professional paths where my creativity is more relevant than my physique. Today I see professional athletes in a different way.

How much do you let other people's opinions of your height influence your decisions? Are you submissive to the opinions of family members and close people or do you seek to build a life that exalts your qualities? 

I’m a photographer and style advisor. If you need some help to deal with your height, style or appearance or if you love yourself and want to register how beautiful you are, you can count on my services. 

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Nycka, the Nomad

🇬🇧 Playing in high heels

The World Cup is taking place in Qatar and, in football, sometimes people say that a player is playing in high heels (I know they say that in Brazil, I don't know if there is an equivalent expression in other languages). This means that he thinks he is better than others and at the same time puts in less effort. Illuminate my ignorance and comment if there is an equivalent expression in your language and what it is. This text is about other ways of wearing heels, mainly by men.

In addition, of course, to men who have a fetish for feminisation, for dressing like a woman, there are those who wear heels without looking for a feminine image.

Back in the 80s, Tom Cruise wore heels to look taller in Top Gun. You didn't see it, but he wore it because he's much shorter than actress Kelly McGillis, who was his love interest in the movie.

Robert de Niro wore high platform shoes to look taller than Al Pacino in "The Irishman".

Robert Downey Jr., Brad Pitt, Vin Diesel, Mark Wahlberg, Daniel Radcliffe, among other actors, some of whom are over 6 feet tall, wear shoes that make them look taller.

If tall men wear shoes that make them look taller, I see no problem with tall women wearing heels. In fact, I've never had a problem with tall women wearing heels, and as I'm 5'11, I've always worn heels. In recent years I prefer combat boots and boots without heels because for my current job they are usually more comfortable, but I still wear high heels.

Among male celebrities who wear heels as part of their style, not just to look taller, we have names like Sir Elton John, Prince, Jared Leto, Troye Sivan, Cody Fern, Adam Lambert, Brendon Urie, Damiano David and many others.

Have you - man - ever tried wearing shoes with high heels?

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Nycka the Nomad