🇬🇧 Can looks be deceiving?

Have you ever heard that looks can be deceiving? Could they be deceiving?

I'm Nycka, I work as a stylist, visual artist and fine art photographer. As a stylist, I was a world pioneer in working with personal image as a non-verbal communication tool.

Once, during the cold period in Curitiba, I went to work looking very androgynous. I'm tall, thin, I have short hair and my appearance already contributes a lot to the androgynous aspect, which I eventually reinforce in clothing.

After work I stopped by the supermarket before heading home. And, on the way, as I was on foot (I was working in a mall close to home), while waiting for the traffic light to turn green for pedestrians, a woman with a little girl of about 5 or 6 years old stopped beside me. The girl asked her mother, looking at me: “is it a boy or a girl?”. The mother got mad at the child, and as soon as the traffic light turned green she ran out and scolded the girl.

I don't believe that clothes have a gender. I often wear men's cut pants because they are more comfortable. I have zero interest in changing genders. I don't believe that my biological gender defines my personality, I don't feel obliged to behave stereotyped as feminine all the time. I believe that everyone has characteristics that are stereotyped as masculine and other characteristics that are stereotyped as feminine, regardless of gender. Certainly Brazilian culture, and possibly others around the world, reinforce(s) stereotypes. It is up to each person, through the process of self-knowledge, to decide whether to accept fitting into stereotypes or not. I have chosen, since I started buying my own clothes, not to dress to satisfy others. I have used my appearance as a tool for non-verbal communication and self-expression since I was eighteen years old. Since I didn't go through the phase of dressing like my friends and people my age when I was a teenager and I was already working in fashion, it was easy to follow that path. So it would be easy and natural for me to respond to that little girl if her mother hadn't taken her far away. I see no mistake, offence or shame in asking what she asked. I see more error in keeping the child in a universe of repression, where wanting to understand the other is treated as a mistake, where there is a war between a single right option and all the others are seen as wrong.

Certainly me and that mother live in different universes. That's why she ran away from me and the uncomfortable situation (for her) of allowing her daughter to experience realities different from those she was used to. And my appearance can be deceiving to the point of doubting whether I am a “boy or a girl”, but it is not deceiving in terms of the fact that I live in a different universe from people who believe that girls should dress with certain options and boys are limited to other options.

I don't work with children's personal image. Not even child celebrities. I believe that to develop a personal style it is necessary to have a dose of self-knowledge that children do not have, because they live in a relationship of relative submission to their parents' beliefs and values, without autonomy to express their individuality in most cases. Many adults also do not have enough autonomy and self-awareness for this.

I'm an artist, and very conventional and conservative behaviour is not inspiring at all. I develop personal styles that are much less daring than mine, but excessive fears, limitations and a conservative mindset do not work within my work. The client must have a dose of openness to do something different from what (s)he has been doing.

If you want to develop a unique personal style, follow the instructions on the “Services available” page. My other services are available to a wider range of profiles.

Nycka