🇬🇧 Adaptability and nomadism

I saw a girl telling her experience with Uber in Curitiba on Twitter. She said the driver wasn’t from the city and as she said “Good morning” he told her she wasn’t local. It was true. She was from Campinas. If it’s your first time here, both are brazilian cities and I live in Curitiba.

Why did the driver know she wasn’t from Curitiba? In most of brazilian cities people use to say good morning and other little expressions of... humanity. It’s a habit, even when we couldn’t care less if the day will be good for the other. But in Curitiba people just don’t say this for pure habit. I want to believe they say when they care. Being so, I agree with this choice. To do something just for habit is so poor! 

Don’t tell me I’m rude if I’m eating chocolate and don’t offer you a bit. I’m jealous of my chocolate (but if I have two maybe I offer you a bit if you deserve). I’m jealous of my cat and gadgets too. And I’m the best person you’ll ever know. 

Since I moved to Curitiba I had some acquaintances who brought some gifts to me the first time they went to my apartment. Yes, Curitiba is far from being the warmer place in Brazil. It’s probably among the coldest places, not only regarding temperatures but also the behaviour of its citizens. But it have some qualities for those who are not afraid to know different cultures. And, about the cold, some people say the climate is the responsible for people here in the south be so unfriendly. It’s a lie! The cold is the same for all and in the same cities we find nice people and those rude ones.

Once, in Porto Alegre, I was moving to a new apartment and the lady who rented the space for me didn’t tell me there were a schedule to move and I couldn’t do it at night. I moved in an evening with heavy rain. It was around 6:00 PM. The concierge told me I couldn’t enter! 😳😰 While I was trying to find a way for him to allow this, he called the manager of the building. The lady who rented the place for me arrived, leaving to work. The manager arrived first. I tried to explain to him the situation and I called him “moço” (a word in portuguese meaning young man, but often used as people use “guy” in english, and this is the sense I use this word, always). The man just listened to this world and got furious with me. He screamed “Don’t call me ‘moço’. Call me old man, but don’t call me ‘moço’!”🤬. In fact, he wasn’t young. And then? What kind of jerk gets crazy for this? He did. The lady with whom I had negotiated arrived and make him calm and he accepted me moving that hour. Lucky me, I never had to meet the manager again.

I lived in four cities and meet people from the whole world all the time. Long time ago, when I started to use the internet, I knew a muslin girl from abroad and I knew almost nothing about her religion. One day she asked me about typical brazilian food. Brazil is very rich of typical local food in many regions. I chose to tell her about feijoada. My english wasn’t very good, but I could tell her it was a dish made of beans and pieces of pigs. She stopped talking to me for a while. I noticed there was something wrong. So I asked what was the problem. She told me about what had shocked her. I apologised, explained there are many other options of food here, etc, and we kept on chatting.

I like to keep my mind open. Astrology would say it’s because I’m aquarian. It can be. And I believe to live in different places is helpful to understand different people as it exposes us to new realities we cannot experience living all life in the same city, no matter how much we travel.

In each city I had some goal to achieve and then, I went to a new place. This way I practice continuous self-improvement. I think my next destination can keep me there longer, and at the same time to provide me much more excitement and challenges than any other. Along life I’ve been discovering qualities and defects in each place I live and I’m learning to set higher goals according to what I learn.

How do you deal with change? Is the new and unknown scary or exciting for you?

Nycka, the nomad

🇬🇧 Relationships and limits

Last monday I watched part of a TV program and one of the guys discussing about a movie told currently we live a reality where when we don’t like something we want to prohibit that thing. What he told reminded me that many children grow up with this. I mean, our parents (not all) educate us to live as if their limits were an absolute truth. They prohibit the children to do things these kids like, or they ignore them when the kids are doing something they believe it’s unworthy. 

I grew up in a city which is not big. Most parents I knew, being part of an elite, wanted their sons and daughters to study traditional professions like medicine, dentistry and law. They didn’t encourage children to become artists, for example. Yes, when we grow up we can choose many things, but the impact of these moments when parents prohibit or ignore something important to us is enormous.

I was watching the program through a Live on Facebook and I wrote a short comment about this point there. A woman asked me how do I believe must be the democratic way to educate children. I think the path is the same for any healthy relationship: to show your limits as your limits, not something prohibited in any situation. For example, if you’re working and the child is screaming around the house, you can tell her all that noise is bothering you and you need silence to complete your project and then you’ll have some time to play with her. Then, when you finish, go and play as you promised. Other example: the child wants to study piano. No matter how many pianists you know that barely survive or had to give up the dream, no matter your dream was to see your kid as an IT professional developing artificial intelligence in a big company... let the child practice that thing. Maybe she have a talent you and your friends don’t. Let any child be herself.

Are you able to notice the limits your family forced to you? How do you set limits in your relationships? How do you deal with the limits of others?

Nycka, the nomad

🇧🇷 Sobre estudar línguas estrangeiras

Quando comecei a estudar inglês, sem contar as aulas básicas que tinha no colégio, eu tinha 20 anos. Naquele momento eu tinha a impressão que todo mundo com mais de quinze anos já falava inglês. Um colega meu, então com 18, era professor do idioma e me encorajou a estudar. 

Hoje, lendo (e comentando) sobre o tema no Twitter alguém disse que nem todo mundo tem tempo, dinheiro ou oportunidade para estudar outros idiomas. A pessoa me bloqueou quando apontei um argumento contra cada um desses três pontos. Este texto é para quem quer vencer as desculpas e conseguir. Porque eu mesma me dava desculpas para não ter estudado inglês até os 20 anos e hoje vejo que as barreiras estavam em mim e que aquele meu colega me ajudou a rompe-las.

Minha única desculpa era exatamente o dinheiro. Eu ganhava um salário mínimo trabalhando na loja de minhas tias. Não dava para pagar um curso de inglês. E minha avó, com quem eu morava, me dizia não pra coisas muito mais baratas (e que nem eram despesas recorrentes como um curso que deve ser pago mensalmente). Então eu me sentia de pés e mãos atados, mesmo querendo aprender. Pensava em outras coisas, deixava esta vontade escondida sob o tapete, fingia que não estava ali. Minha avó pagou o curso pra mim, mas nem todo mundo tem um parente que tenha recursos pra isso. Ela bancou meu 1º semestre de italiano também. Então me mudei pra fazer o MBA e parei de estudar italiano. E descobri que o governo italiano subsidiava cursos do idioma no Brasil. Descobri onde tinha um curso assim em Porto Alegre, onde eu morava, mas era bem fora de mão. Adiei um pouco mais. Em Curitiba decidi retomar os estudos do idioma de Dante. Pesquisei e descobri uma escola (com o nome do escritor) perto de minha casa, no centro. E fiz um semestre intensivo. A gente pagava a matrícula e o material e cursava o semestre todo. Posteriormente descobri muitos cursos gratuitos ou de baixo custo de idiomas diversos, presenciais e online. Além do mais, quem quer mesmo pode pedir um patrocínio não só de parentes, mas da empresa para a qual trabalha, ou para algum empresário, político, etc. Talvez até funcione alguma proposta de troca de serviços com a escola ou um professor particular. Se é importante e ajuda ao nosso desenvolvimento pessoal e profissional, a gente vai achar um apoio. 

Na mesma época começou a chover trabalho! Sou consultora de estilo e comecei a ter clientes em todo o Brasil. A maioria para atender fora de Curitiba. Tinha duas aulas de italiano por semana e volta e meia tinha de faltar para atender clientes em outras cidades. E para recuperar o conteúdo sozinha antes da próxima aula era insano, mas consegui concluir o semestre. Para a pessoa no Twitter ainda apontei um ponto onde podemos facilmente encontrar tempo. Diminuir o tempo de uso de redes sociais. Eu amo ler, e tenho preferido ler ebooks que livros físicos porque, afinal, trabalho com comunicação digital, e consigo gerenciar o tempo de modo a ler e trabalhar simultaneamente. Mas mesmo para cursos presenciais a gente pode abrir mão de um tempo nas redes sociais. Hoje leio um livro por semana, mais ou menos, participo de um clube de conversação uma vez por semana e passo cerca de quatro horas por dia em redes sociais. Sem abrir mão de outras coisas importantes na vida. Eu, você, o Robert Pattinson e todo mundo temos as mesmas 24 horas no dia.

Quanto às oportunidades, elas surgem para quem acredita nelas, para quem se permite enfrentar as desculpas e encontrar um caminho de verdade em direção a ser a melhor versão de você mesmo. Nada é tão bom que não possa ser ainda melhor.

Nycka, the nomad 

Consultora em personal branding 360°

🇬🇧 About age for humans and animals

Sometimes I find texts or questions about what age would a cat or dog be if it were human. Often I see people worried about how to look younger. This post is about these things linked to age.

Age is one thing, maturity is another. Observing from this point of view, we start observing human beings. We can observe 100 different people with the same age and we’ll find different levels of maturity among them. We can observe 100 people with different ages and it wouldn’t be a surprise to find some young people more mature than many older ones. 

So, about what would be the age of an animal if it were a human, I say it’s not a wise question. The chronological age of humans say nothing important at all. Considering this, how to look younger is a minor problem. People should consider how to be more mature, how to find themselves quickly and how to communicate the best of themselves through their appearances. Because when we discover our own beauty, a beauty much more valuable than any other, chronological age is no longer important.

Nycka, the Nomad

🇧🇷 “Já pode casar”

Já ouvi várias vezes a expressão “já pode casar”, em geral usada como “elogio” a alguém que preparou uma boa comida, um docinho delicioso, enfim, uma pessoa que acertou a mão na cozinha. Geralmente uma mulher, mas vou ignorar o sentido machista desta vez, porque a expressão é tão tosca que nem precisa desse argumento.

Legalmente, para casar a pessoa só precisa ter idade e com quem casar. Deve ter de pagar alguma taxa também. Mas as habilidades culinárias nada têm a ver com isso. E se for pensar em habilidades, as culinárias também não deveriam ter tal peso, visto que muito mais importante que isso é ter maturidade emocional para um relacionamento e para construir uma família. Maturidade esta que infelizmente muita gente casa sem ter.

Maturidade emocional é uma qualidade difícil de ser cultivada, mas que vale a pena. Tira de jogo muito do senso comum que crescemos acreditando como se fossem verdades absolutas. Nos liberta das prisões que nossa família, aquelas pessoas que se casaram e botaram filhos no mundo sem maturidade emocional pra isso, nos meteu. E pode libertar pais e filhos de conflitos de gerações, quando os pais têm filhos apenas após ter desenvolvido esta qualidade.

Então, daqui por diante, quando perceber atitudes que revelam maturidade emocional de outra pessoa, fique à vontade para dizer “já pode casar”. E não diga essa frase quando a pessoa souber cozinhar, porque ela pode trabalhar num restaurante, numa confeitaria, mas a habilidade de cozinhar não prepara ninguém pra casar.

Nycka, the nomad 

🇬🇧 The greatest showman

I watched this movie yesterday and I was happy to see the movie don’t show “minorities”. It shows various different people united for a show. Nobody is there to defend those who are physically equal to themselves. People physically equal to ourselves don’t exist! Minorities don’t exist. Each individual is unique! To believe in minorities is to deny your individuality, to desperately try to find someone like you, denying what makes you unique.

For this reason I believe style and even professional plans must be considered individually. Like art. True art is never a copy. Some singer trying to sing a cover of someone else cannot be considered an artist if the singer is trying to imitate the original style. That’s why many musicians are not valued. They didn’t find their professional identity. The same for many other professional activities. There are many teachers who don’t encourage their students to develop critical sense. They just repeat what they learned. They are shallow. Teachers like these can never claim for a raise because they are absolutely mediocre.

Mediocrity is to deny the blessings you receive daily. I embrace each one of them.

Those who deserve all blessings deserve a unique style and a unique path for professional success. Do you?

Nycka, the nomad 

🇬🇧 Could you improve your standards?

Life teach us discreetly to improve constantly. Not everyone understands this simple lesson.

When we go to school we start learning some easy things, that are challenging for us that time, and the challenges increase year after year. Some students are lazy and barely study enough to pass to the next level. Other ones are interested in understand each theme and ask questions, research in books or in the internet, etc. To study is not about to go to school or to the university. To study is to cultivate the desire to learn and to improve.

When we play video games, each level is more difficult than the previous one.

At work, more than ambition, what make us go from assistant or intern to manager or director should be this need of being better day after day, to embrace new challenges and generate self development.

Lazy students become mediocre professionals. Outstanding professionals are built from childhood, learning to appreciate challenges since they’re very young. Are sports good for this? I think they can be, but they’re not the only path. To learn to ask questions and to analyse each theme is very important. Sports and arts and philosophy are very helpful to see the world from different perspectives.

Any machine is able to blindly follow rules. After the boom of the profession of personal stylist, with TV shows about this and everything else, we could find apps which do what some people imagine is “the same” work. It’s not. What apps do is to apply the techniques, the formulas. The true activity of a competent personal stylist is beyond techniques. It’s like art. Anyone can learn to play guitar and try to sing Bon Jovi’s songs in local bars. But there is only one Bon Jovi in the world. True personal style only is possible through highly qualified human advice, like myself. You won’t find anything better. But if your self esteem is low, you’ll consider any crumb like apps or any other professional. This is worse for you. They don’t know the path to help you to perform a deep transformation in yourself through style as I can. I am for those who deserve the best, even when they already know outstanding fashion brands, when they have the best of everything, because they still don’t know what I know. Even celebrities make style mistakes.
Everyone must improve ones standards continuously. If you don’t have this as part of yourself, as natural as breathing, you’re a loser.

Nycka, the nomad

🇬🇧 Sense of belonging

There’s a Gotthard’s song which starts saying:

“I've been lost and found, run out of grace

Felt the city's cold embrace, and I learned the hard way

How it feels to be lonely

I've seen perfect skies, turn into grey

Had my dreams all washed away

And I realised what I wanted was already mine

I'm back to where I belong

Been a long time gone, now it feels like home”

It’s a love song, but this first part can help us to think about so many things. Pay attention you’re reading the words of a nomad. 

I’ll consider this sense of belonging from three points of view in this post.

1. Sense of belonging and work-life balance: for this point I must say this balance is about to organise the 24 hours we have daily in a way we can work, eat, sleep and have time to practice self-development, to meet friends, to have a time with quality with our family, to practice a foreign language and sports, and to enjoy art and culture, etc. I believe we are made to practice continuous self improvement. And technology is giving us all tools to dedicate more time for this than to any less relevant activity. All the points I mentioned above are important to find the balance. We must know ourselves, practicing self-awareness everyday. Without this we’ll never find our individual balance.
2. Sense of belonging and personal style: once more, self awareness is important. If you’re not aware about who you are, anything a professional or even an influencer with zero knowledge on the fashion industry says will satisfy you. This is “comfortable” sometimes, but keeps you distant from THAT image expressing your best self. When we find that style that express who we are without the need to speak, this is a great experience. Of course the person must be a bit bold to embrace such a strong style. Those people who have a common style, who don’t shine in the crowd even when their clothes are discreet, are people with a weak personality. 
3. Sense of belonging and inner peace: the perfect place would be somewhere like that village close to Hogwarts, where only wizards live (if you’re a wizard). But the world is big and while I don’t find such a perfect place, I try to be close to the “perfect” people. Those who are open minded, eager to learn, to exchange ideas and experiences and creative. From my experience I noticed most small towns are not the best place for creative people as people tend to be too conservative. In big cities although the number of conservative people is big, the chances to find people with this profile are bigger than in small places. And... we have the internet and opportunities to travel to build this network of interesting people all the time! Considering this, there’s no doubt I don’t believe we belong to some specific place. We are born in some place, but we can have a mindset very different from that people and... we become nomads! Finding new friends and professional opportunities everywhere. For this, cultural richness is very important. Cultural nomads belong to themselves and this is freedom.

Nycka, the nomad

🇬🇧 How to measure work?

As an independent professional, sometimes playing as a freelance, and often helping people to deal with their professional doubts, this question is often presented to me by myself or other people.

Many businesses still measure work according to hours. The regular employees work from 9 to 5 (or other schedule, according to the country). But this is a disadvantage for businesses with a culture of excellence and growth.

Why do I believe this method is wrong for such businesses? It’s simple. Considering only how many hours each employee is working, a proactive, dynamic professional is able to deliver much more results in a day than a lazy colleague. So, what’s the advantage of being proactive and dynamic - as many recruiters ask candidates to be - if the culture of that business doesn’t encourage these qualities? None! So, talented people leave the business as soon as possible and go after other opportunities and possibilities.

Only by treasuring talented professionals and offering proper environment for them to exhibit their best the companies will really put excellence and growth in practice as part of their cultures. Otherwise they’re only showing a culture of laziness and mediocrity.

Nycka, the nomad 

🇬🇧 Don’t stop me now

Last Monday I watched Bohemian Rhapsody with some friends. I was enchanted with the strength of the main character. I know the movie is not completely faithful to the life of Freddie Mercury, but it caused a positive impact on me. I love biographies, in books or movies. And I love them even more when I see something similar to my own life or to the person I want to be.

As many biographies, the movie exhibit conflicts and moments of joy. I’m grateful for loving reading biographies since I was an adolescent because this helped me to see everyone have conflicts and sufferings, and the way to deal with that is far different to the way the majority does.

I really appreciate strong people who don’t need to pretend emotions or ideas they don’t have. I appreciate people who are able to be themselves in a positive way. People who express themselves clearly, not saying something in codes only they and their peers are able to understand. I like people who are able to tell about their feelings and intentions. And people who are always improving, trying their best (like Freddie Mercury did in this movie).

Continuous improvement is a lifestyle. Is part of my lifestyle. And being so, I recommend you to watch this movie observing this point of view. With AI (artificial intelligence) the world won’t need mediocre people. Take care.

Nycka, the nomad

🇬🇧 Easy Rider - 50 years (free from spoilers)

The iconic movie “Easy Rider”, from 1969, celebrated 50 years recently. Peter Fonda, one of the stars in the movie, died in 2019 too. I had the opportunity to watch this movie for the second time this Saturday. 

Easy Rider is about two men who were travelling from LA to the Mardi Gras in New Orleans. The photography is astonishing. The soundtrack is wonderful. We see two men travelling in customised motorcycles and we forget how boring can be to hear nothing but the motorcycles and themselves for many kilometres. Currently we can travel listening to music while riding but we’re talking about 1969, before the famous Woodstock festival. The technology was not that fine.

The movie shows the guys making friends and enemies along the road. There is an amazing speech from George Hanson (Jack Nicholson) during the movie where he speaks about what his two travel companions represent to many people. He talks about freedom. And how free people disturb “normal” people. We know this from many other resources like Harry Potter or Dom Casmurro, a book from brazilian writer Machado de Assis where Bentinho feels constantly threatened by the charming Capitu.

If we observe our current reality, anywhere in this world we find these two groups: the ignorant brutes who kill or threaten anyone who is different and open minded, and the people who enjoys the company of free people. 

Going one step further, I must say innovative people are always somewhat free. It’s impossible to be innovative hating change, hating the different. It’s impossible because to innovate is to create change.

No, the movie is not about innovation. This blog is. And I’m sharing what I perceive from that story that can be useful for people who appreciate innovation and who are open to observe art with a critical eye. You’re free to share your thoughts, avoiding spoilers in the comments.

Nycka, the nomad

🇬🇧 Feeling good

I am brazilian. One of the first songs I learned studying english was Tracy Chapman’s “Baby, can I hold you”. This song talks about how to express feelings through gestures. It’s a beautiful song.

Yesterday I woke up and received a message of “Good morning” from a friend from abroad on my cellphone. The perfect timing, as he sent the message a few minutes before I wake up. The cellphone were on silent mode while I slept. Then another friend sent a video about the September 11, when the twin towers felt down, and about the value of those people we appreciate.

And while I was writing this post, navigating on Facebook while thinking on how to say what is in my mind, I saw a video from that song. 

The simple attitudes of my friends reminded me the day my father died and that I felt I was unable to express my feelings properly, I felt as if I didn’t have expressed well how much I appreciated him. It was on January 2004. And here I am, more than fifteen years later, observing how much I evolved about this matter. I can say “I like you, you’re important to me” from the bottom of my heart and feel completely comfortable about this. To be true, uncomfortable to me is to hide my feelings.

Observing myself and my experiences I noticed people come to me to many things, and when I am the one in need of a helping hand I must go and ask them. Many times I find the help I need. I felt very uncomfortable about having to ask for help for a long while, but considering I help people and I find the support I need, currently I feel grateful. If people don’t notice when I need help, maybe it’s because I look strong. And I am strong, sometimes too much. But to need a help is not weakness. It’s something normal to anyone, even to Robinson Crusoe in that island.

Yesterday was a great day. Friend, you could send me “good morning” messages everyday! 😄 I felt embraced by that simple gesture. 

Nycka, the nomad

🇧🇷 Onde está a excelência

Uma cultura de excelência começa cedo, na infância. Tive a boa sorte de buscar ser uma boa aluna desde muito jovem e, trabalhando desde muito cedo, também buscava ser excelente neste campo. Eu sempre me cobrei muito. Era complicado lidar com essa cobrança, mas tinha suas vantagens no tempo de escola e muitas vantagens extras que descobri posteriormente e desfruto hoje.

A diferença entre quem é original e quem é medíocre começa ali. O medíocre se contenta em ter notas para passar. Eu, mesmo nas matérias que detestava, tentava aprender. Eu tive professores de química e física no ensino médio cujos métodos de ensino não eram muito positivos para mim. Leia-se: gente que ensinava esperando que o aluno decorasse a matéria e só. Não gosto de decorar matérias e repetir feito papagaio. Gosto de pensar. Quando fiz cursinho pré-vestibular tive sorte de ter professores destas mesmas matérias que usavam uma metodologia mais prática e consegui aprender algo.

Tem gente que sob essa cobrança interna e a externa que pode surgir, segue um caminho de negatividade. Numa sociedade com tanto mimimi e tanta ignorância, tenho orgulho de ter usado minhas experiências pessoais para me tornar uma pessoa verdadeiramente forte, e inigualável no que tange às minhas habilidades profissionais. Tenho orgulho e me pergunto se ainda faz sentido escrever em português, se as pessoas que buscam a excelência provavelmente falam inglês fluentemente, por ser a linguagem dos negócios no mundo. Penso se vale a pena continuar escrevendo em português sobretudo porque conheço poucas marcas que tenham valores similares aos meus - principalmente a busca da excelência através do aprimoramento constante e a originalidade - e sejam nativas de países de língua portuguesa.

Neste momento, minha intenção de escrever em português está sendo confrontada. Estou buscando o melhor para mim.

Nycka, the nomad

🇬🇧 The choice

Someone asked me why some businesses don’t hire the best candidates. Other asked for whom is easier to find a job and for whom is harder.
My answer for both is another question:
If the sexiest celebrity (you choose the gender) wanted to date you, would you feel afraid to have so precious partner or would you embrace the opportunity confidently?
Your choice tells a lot about your decisions as a leader or your decisions while looking for a job, and also about other personal choices.
To get the best of your personal brand, hire my style consultancy.

Nycka, the Nomad

#personalbranding

🇬🇧 The wisdom of evolution

The theories on the evolution of species show us who wins the challenges in life. The cries of those pitying themselves are only worthy when they’re open to conquer their weaknesses and evolve. Otherwise they’re shameful.

I’m grateful I had known many different realities along life and I choose to create the reality I prefer for myself.

I’m lucky as I meet great people from time to time and I’m not obligated to keep the mediocre ones around.

I’m lucky because I built my luck and currently I can write about anything and my services are available without the need to prove my competences as I already did this.

Mediocrity is ridiculous because it’s too simple to be left behind if the person is willing to do this. It’s a problem for the majority just because they have the false belief outstanding people have an easy life and never faced hardships when the true is most outstanding people faced boldly their inner enemies while mediocre people only try to find someone else to blame on their misery.

Even China is learning the lesson all the world should. This concerns to governments, business administration and personal development. It starts on each individual.

Nycka, the Nomad