🇬🇧 Relationships and limits

Last monday I watched part of a TV program and one of the guys discussing about a movie told currently we live a reality where when we don’t like something we want to prohibit that thing. What he told reminded me that many children grow up with this. I mean, our parents (not all) educate us to live as if their limits were an absolute truth. They prohibit the children to do things these kids like, or they ignore them when the kids are doing something they believe it’s unworthy. 

I grew up in a city which is not big. Most parents I knew, being part of an elite, wanted their sons and daughters to study traditional professions like medicine, dentistry and law. They didn’t encourage children to become artists, for example. Yes, when we grow up we can choose many things, but the impact of these moments when parents prohibit or ignore something important to us is enormous.

I was watching the program through a Live on Facebook and I wrote a short comment about this point there. A woman asked me how do I believe must be the democratic way to educate children. I think the path is the same for any healthy relationship: to show your limits as your limits, not something prohibited in any situation. For example, if you’re working and the child is screaming around the house, you can tell her all that noise is bothering you and you need silence to complete your project and then you’ll have some time to play with her. Then, when you finish, go and play as you promised. Other example: the child wants to study piano. No matter how many pianists you know that barely survive or had to give up the dream, no matter your dream was to see your kid as an IT professional developing artificial intelligence in a big company... let the child practice that thing. Maybe she have a talent you and your friends don’t. Let any child be herself.

Are you able to notice the limits your family forced to you? How do you set limits in your relationships? How do you deal with the limits of others?

Nycka, the nomad