How to teach responsibility to a child

To get acquainted with different cultures and different references helps us to develop unique strategies to deal with challenges and responsibilities in life. So, nobody needs to repeat whatever their parents used to do with them when they were children to their own children. People have brains to be used, to think about better ways to do something. And here I share a few tips that may be helpful for parents and for those considering having kids - biological or adopted - in the future.

One great point to start is by defining, since the beginning (e.g. since you're planning to get married or have kids) every person in the household must help to keep the house clean and organized, follow some rules like respecting the pets, and have the right to give suggestions for meals, for the color of their bedroom when the house is being painted, etc.

You don't teach responsibility by treating children as servants. You teach it by treating them as members of the household.

To have fun is only allowed after they have done their daily activities. So, kids only can have fun, play videogames, watch cartoons, etc after doing homework from school, organizing their bedrooms and toys and done their other activities to keep the house organized. Adults, too, must first finish their responsibilities at home, walk the dog, clean the dishes, etc, and only then stop to watch TV or any other leisure activities.

This MUST be valid for all people in the house. Nobody is allowed to ignore, as if an adult ignore the rules, the child will learn that they can ignore too and if you punish them for that you're wrong as you didn't punish the adults who disrespected the rules. And here you can lose your child forever if you're unfair.

Obviously you won't ask a 4 year-old to cook a meal as part of his responsibilities. You ask a 4 year old kid to organize his toys, feed the dog, etc. As they're getting older you add new responsibilities in a way that everybody is helping and all the kids are developing skills at the same time.

Among these skills, it's responsibility. Everybody has their responsibilities. If the kid didn't organize his toys, so, won't play videogames or have fun before they finish to do what they're required to do to keep the house functioning. This is not punishment, as they're just facing a consequence of their procrastination. It's a rule valid for all people in the household.

You WON'T yell or spank. You MUST be emotionally regulated. If you're not, to seek therapy to train your own emotional regulation is a good way to learn how to regulate yourself.

A child is a human being and the role of a parent is to help the child to regulate emotionally and develop their skills to become a functional adult with a healthy self-esteem.