🇬🇧 On the impact of external and internal influences on our choices of what to wear

Are you influenced by other people when choosing what to wear? Although some tend to answer no, the reality is different.

At birth, you didn't even have much ability to communicate your preferences, saying that this outfit is tight, that one is too hot and a third one is ugly. And even if you used the resources you had to communicate your dissatisfaction when you was a newborn, it is possible that your parents and caregivers would not understand. Some parents impose their preferences on their children, even when they can say what they like or dislike, and this can influence their choices in many ways.

As we grow up, we dress trying to bring characteristics of those we admire to our appearance, or wear something similar to what the people we admire like. We also seek to distance ourselves from the way people we don't like or don't identify with dress. And, of course, the image that authoritarian parents imposed on us when we couldn't afford to buy our own clothes.

When our level of self-confidence is high enough, we can tell, just by looking, whether an outfit is likely to look good on us or not. A woman with a triangular body type (hips wider than shoulders) who buys a dress with a trapeze cut or a flared skirt and a fitted, sleeveless top does not have a well-developed sense of aesthetic harmony. She needs professional guidance to develop her style. The same goes for a man with broad shoulders and thin legs who likes to wear skinny pants. And for many other cases that, for some people, are obvious mistakes and other people insist on making.

It's not a matter of whether the piece is in fashion or not. Every season, clothes are launched for all body types. It's a matter of knowing what enhances your appearance and what doesn't. If you can't identify what looks really good on you and what you insist on wearing because it's trendy or all your friends wear it, you have a problem. And sweeping it under the rug means not developing a personal style. And not maturing.

The first step in developing a personal style is self-knowledge, knowing what you like, what you don't like, knowing the internal and external influences you suffer, and being aware of what you value or don't value your appearance, being aware of your limiting beliefs, etc. Wearing something that everyone else wears is a sign that you're far from stylish. As the song “Vent’anni” by Måneskin says, “Sarai qualcuno se resterai diverso dagli altri”, which means “you will be someone if you remain different from others”. Self-knowledge allows us to understand what this phrase means beyond the superficial impression.

Influences are not positive or negative by themselves. They impact on you depend on how mature you are and how aware you are about everything I’ve mentioned here.

Nycka the Nomad