🇬🇧 Self-esteem is for those who have...

Currently, some businesses are trying, in their advertising campaigns, models with what they consider “real beauty”. The reason, they say, it’s that the “ideal beauty” of top models causes people - mostly women - to try crazy diets and plastic surgeries that sometimes causes their death.

I believe this strategy is too weak to achieve the desired goal.

I had serious self-esteem problems during a ling time. In the 90’s the magazines were full of pictures of fabulous and sexy models, like Cindy Crawford. I had a cousin many people said she looked like this model. She reminded me more of brazilian actress Camila Pitanga, also a pretty woman. Anyway, my cousin was beautiful. People around me were of two profiles: some (my mother and her family) used to tell me I was an idiot, ugly and many other criticism. Other group never talked about my qualities. My father used to say I was intelligent. I didn’t see him often and and this was not very helpful as many people consider intelligent women are... ugly! I felt horrible and never answered my teachers. When someone offered and gave me a ride to my home I apologised for disturbing that person!! Yes! The person offered, isn’t it? But I felt like 💩, so, I apologised.

When I was 16, my mother inscribed me in a course for models. I think they wanted to destroy me. Don’t they want it? Then I suffered bullying as I never felt at school. Our last “homework” were to write an ad for TV (30 seconds). Each student writing one ad and being its model. I had an interesting insight and wrote based on a brand called Arquitextura, which would be, in english, “architexture”. I wrote about the doubts anyone of my age have about which university course to study. The image was a close on my face. Then, in the end, it opens the plan and I’m ready to go out for fun. And I’d say I chose that brand. I was born in a city not big nor important. I have no idea how I had that idea, but the teacher, a photographer from Rio, loved what I wrote. And in the end nobody played the roles. But my doubts about career were ended and I decided to be an advertising writer. And here I am, editor in chief of my own blog, with half the course of business administration, a degree in advertising and a MBA in marketing. I lived in 4 cities, 3 states and speak 3 languages, with some comprehension of other two. These things the girl I was at 16 could never imagine.

But my problems with low self-esteem lasted longer. Currently I can say they were defeated.

I believe models more “real” (for whom?) cannot improve the self-esteem of someone. I never felt some identification with famous other than 2 or 3 ugly actresses. Currently the girlfriend of brazilian actress Bruna Linzmeyer looks physically like the girl I was. I had ugly friends (and beautiful ones too). This made no difference in my life. When I saw the first pics of Gisele Bundchen at brazilian magazines I considered them ridiculous, he looked too much a country girl, with no charm.  She was a country girl, born in a city much smaller than mine. And I felt no identification. No external influences helped me to see charms in myself. We cannot see in others what we don’t see in ourselves.

A few months before to conclude my university degree in advertising I discovered buddhism. Many years later, studying a lot the philosophy, I noticed the problem was within myself. The problem was not to see my beauty, even attracting handsome male friends like sugar attracts ants. Doubtless the problem of other women is the same, although some can feel better if they feel positive identification with models and celebrities. The difference is they want someone else’s beauty while I knew I couldn’t have this.

Nobody can create self-esteem in others. Someone can encourage, praise, support, but if the person prefer to embrace the negative self image nothing can be done.

If I depended on identification to buy something, I would not buy shampoo and other haircare products, as I love my short hair and in general those products are exhibited with models with long boring hair. But I use to buy and use these things. And I believe in the beauty of those who truly believe in their own beauties.

Advertising is to create enchantment, to make people dream, because only those who dream can make their dreams to come true, although not all dreamer is an achiever. And some try to achieve following wrong paths like to deny their own beauties and make plastic surgeries, destroying themselves while they deny their personal qualities.

This blog is not recommended for people with fragile self-esteem.

Nycka, the nomad.